Weekend Mini Quiz 10
Round One – The Grand National
1) In which year was the Grand National first run ?
2) What was name of the first horse to win the Grand National twice in a row ?
3) Who was the last amateur jockey to win the Grand National ?
4) Where was the race held during the First World War ?
5) What was the name of the horse that crossed the line first in 1993, although it didn’t win, and who was the jockey on board ?
Round Two - General Knowledge
1) What was the name of the world’s first ever space tourist ?
2) Who was the first person to sign the American Declaration of independence ?
3) What moved from the Strand, to Theobald’s Park in 1878, and from Theobald’s Park to Paternoster Square in 2003 ?
4) Whose death was Shakespeare supposedly alluding to with the words “ a great reckoning in a little room “
5) Television.Ivan Limmer was the first person to do it. Do what ?
Sunday, 5 April 2009
A Little Nepotism
My son, Michael, yesterday asked me if I would give him and his comedy group a name check in “Life After Mastermind”. His group are called “The Plastic Seat Company” and they are fresh from their triumphant appearance in the Sheffield Comedy Festival. If you’d like to know a bit more about them, then follow this link
Sheffield Comedy Festival - Plastic Seat Company
I’m in favour of nepotism as much as the next man, but it was difficult, I explained, considering that the blog is about quizzes and quizzing. He suggested that if they could come up with their own sketch about a quiz, then this would give them a way in.
I’ll be honest, though, its easier said than done. I’ve done a little bit of amateur scripting myself, some of it for the Plastic Seat Company, and some of it for my friend’s amateur dramatic and music group in Colehill, Dorset. Which reminds me of a huge coincidence. One of my opponents in my first round Mastermind heat in 2007 was a member of this same Am Dram group, and knows my friend KD very well, a fact I didn’t know until much later. However , I digress. As I say, I have written quite a large number of sketches for performance, but have never been able to write one about a quiz, quizzers, or quizzing, despite my obsession.
There have been many sketches about quizzes on television over the years, the majority of them being spoofs and send ups of TV quizzes. My favourite is the much loved Two Ronnies Mastermind sketch, scripted by David Renwick, where Ronnie Corbett played Charlie Smithers – specialist subject – answering the previous question. Mastermind is an obvious target for sending up, and another spoof I remember was an Australian one, on the old Paul Hogan show – called Thick’Ead.Others worthy of mention spring to mind as well. Not the nine O’Clock News was the first show on which Griff Rhys Jones impersonated Bamber Gascoigne, although the show he was hosting was actually HM Prison Challenge (very good, I can give you the full five years’ remission for that ). Not the Nine O'Clock News also gave us “Ask the Family” between the Brainees and the Smawt-Asses, two families both consisting of parents Mr. Giles, Mrs. Serena, and children Julian 16 and Nigel 14, all 4 of whom were quantity surveyors.I don’t know if anyone remembers an old ITV show called “End of Part One”, but that had a notable couple of spoofs in it of shows such as The Generation Game ( The Fat Ladies Embarrassment Game ) and Call My Bluff ( Scrape My Barrel ) These usually hit the target spot on. Then there are the spoof quizzes, like Monty Python’s Spot the Braincell ( I’m offering you a punch in the face ).
I’m sure that many people would say that the finest send up of a quiz show was Dick and Dom’s Ask the Family. The only problem was that it wasn’t supposed to be a send up.
Sheffield Comedy Festival - Plastic Seat Company
I’m in favour of nepotism as much as the next man, but it was difficult, I explained, considering that the blog is about quizzes and quizzing. He suggested that if they could come up with their own sketch about a quiz, then this would give them a way in.
I’ll be honest, though, its easier said than done. I’ve done a little bit of amateur scripting myself, some of it for the Plastic Seat Company, and some of it for my friend’s amateur dramatic and music group in Colehill, Dorset. Which reminds me of a huge coincidence. One of my opponents in my first round Mastermind heat in 2007 was a member of this same Am Dram group, and knows my friend KD very well, a fact I didn’t know until much later. However , I digress. As I say, I have written quite a large number of sketches for performance, but have never been able to write one about a quiz, quizzers, or quizzing, despite my obsession.
There have been many sketches about quizzes on television over the years, the majority of them being spoofs and send ups of TV quizzes. My favourite is the much loved Two Ronnies Mastermind sketch, scripted by David Renwick, where Ronnie Corbett played Charlie Smithers – specialist subject – answering the previous question. Mastermind is an obvious target for sending up, and another spoof I remember was an Australian one, on the old Paul Hogan show – called Thick’Ead.Others worthy of mention spring to mind as well. Not the nine O’Clock News was the first show on which Griff Rhys Jones impersonated Bamber Gascoigne, although the show he was hosting was actually HM Prison Challenge (very good, I can give you the full five years’ remission for that ). Not the Nine O'Clock News also gave us “Ask the Family” between the Brainees and the Smawt-Asses, two families both consisting of parents Mr. Giles, Mrs. Serena, and children Julian 16 and Nigel 14, all 4 of whom were quantity surveyors.I don’t know if anyone remembers an old ITV show called “End of Part One”, but that had a notable couple of spoofs in it of shows such as The Generation Game ( The Fat Ladies Embarrassment Game ) and Call My Bluff ( Scrape My Barrel ) These usually hit the target spot on. Then there are the spoof quizzes, like Monty Python’s Spot the Braincell ( I’m offering you a punch in the face ).
I’m sure that many people would say that the finest send up of a quiz show was Dick and Dom’s Ask the Family. The only problem was that it wasn’t supposed to be a send up.
Saturday, 4 April 2009
Even if you didn't get to be an Egghead last time -
You could still be one this time !
Further to my post last week I think that I now have the answer to at least one of my questions about the forthcoming new series of "Are You An Egghead ? ". I asked whether last year's contestants would be allowed back on the show. Well, apparently the last 16 players in last year's competition ( with the exception of Barry the winner, of course ) will be invited to come back for this new series, and the ones who didn't make it to the last 16 are very welcome to apply.
Thinking about it, this seems to answer the question about how they are going to maintain the quality of the last series - just get the same people in it !
Well, I can't say that I blame the producers for this pragmatic decision, and it shouldn't seriously affect anyone else's decision as to whether they apply or not - after all, if you're not prepared to take on anyone and everyone, you're probably onto a loser before you start. However I have to say that if I do apply this means that my previously miniscule chances of success have now lengthened far beyond those with which Mon Mome won today's Grand National.
Hmmmm.
Further to my post last week I think that I now have the answer to at least one of my questions about the forthcoming new series of "Are You An Egghead ? ". I asked whether last year's contestants would be allowed back on the show. Well, apparently the last 16 players in last year's competition ( with the exception of Barry the winner, of course ) will be invited to come back for this new series, and the ones who didn't make it to the last 16 are very welcome to apply.
Thinking about it, this seems to answer the question about how they are going to maintain the quality of the last series - just get the same people in it !
Well, I can't say that I blame the producers for this pragmatic decision, and it shouldn't seriously affect anyone else's decision as to whether they apply or not - after all, if you're not prepared to take on anyone and everyone, you're probably onto a loser before you start. However I have to say that if I do apply this means that my previously miniscule chances of success have now lengthened far beyond those with which Mon Mome won today's Grand National.
Hmmmm.
Answers to Weekend Quiz 9
Weekend Mini Quiz 9
Round One - Send in the Clowns
1) Which musical features the song "Send in the Clowns " ?
Answer – A Little Night music
2) Which ruling house of Europe shares its name with a famous clown, and what was the name of the clown ?
Answer – the Grimaldis of Monaco – Joey Grimaldi
3) How does a circus clown copyright his own distinctive face make-up ?
Painting his makeup on an egg shell
4) What is the name of the clown in the Shakespeare play "Twelfth Night " ?
Feste
5) What was the name of the very famous clown associated with the Blackpool Tower Circus in the 1950s, 60s and 70s ?
Charlie Cairoli
Round Two - General Knowledge
1) Emerald is the distinctive green form of which mineral ?l
Beryl
2) In computer technology , what does DOS stand for ?
Disk Operating System
3) Who composed the St. Matthew Passion ?
JS Bach
4) If you are an MHR in Australia - what is your business ?
Member of the House of Representatives
5) Which town or village on the Gower Peninsula is famous for its cockles ?
Penclawdd
Round One - Send in the Clowns
1) Which musical features the song "Send in the Clowns " ?
Answer – A Little Night music
2) Which ruling house of Europe shares its name with a famous clown, and what was the name of the clown ?
Answer – the Grimaldis of Monaco – Joey Grimaldi
3) How does a circus clown copyright his own distinctive face make-up ?
Painting his makeup on an egg shell
4) What is the name of the clown in the Shakespeare play "Twelfth Night " ?
Feste
5) What was the name of the very famous clown associated with the Blackpool Tower Circus in the 1950s, 60s and 70s ?
Charlie Cairoli
Round Two - General Knowledge
1) Emerald is the distinctive green form of which mineral ?l
Beryl
2) In computer technology , what does DOS stand for ?
Disk Operating System
3) Who composed the St. Matthew Passion ?
JS Bach
4) If you are an MHR in Australia - what is your business ?
Member of the House of Representatives
5) Which town or village on the Gower Peninsula is famous for its cockles ?
Penclawdd
Friday, 3 April 2009
Mastermind - First Round heat 23/24
So here we are, with the penultimate heat of the first round. I've noticed that we have not yet seen a 30 pointer this year, but with 9 shows still to go including this one, there's still plenty of time. Would any of the 4 newcomers making up tonight's contenders manage to oblige ? Time would tell.
First up was Andrew Weston, answering questions on the Novels of George Orwell. According to wikipedia 6 of Orwell’s works are considered to be novels, so the contender had a considerable body of work to swot up. He achieved an even dozen, which left him well in contention at the halfway stage.
Second to go was Tony Black. In a noticeably highbrow heat, Mr. Black provided a little light relief by answering on Gram Parsons. For readers who know as little about Gram Parsons as I do, he was a member of The International Sunshine Band – sorry , never heard of them – The Byrds – definitely heard of them – and the Flying Burrito Brothers – figure it out for yourself. Thankfully Mr. Banks knew considerably more than I did about Gram Parsons, and scored 15. That’s good quizzing.
Possibly the widest subject of the week was that offered by Frank Minns – Italian politics from 1944 to 1994. That’s fifty turbulent years. Questions about Aldo Moro, Roberto Calvi and the Masonic P2 lodge were the only questions in the round to be attempted from the Clark sofa. Still Mr. Minns was good value for his 13 points.
Richard Griffiths brought the first round to a close with a round on the music of Shostakovitch. This had been a high scoring contest so far, with all of the contenders getting into double figures on their specialist rounds. So Mr. Griffiths can count himself a little unlucky to find himself in fourth place having scored 11.
On with the General Knowledge. Mr. Griffiths returned to the chair, to find out that John Humphrys was not the least bit interested in Shostakovitch, and instead concentrated on Mr. Griffiths’ work in Manchester Royal Infirmary. When the round started he managed to add 6 to his score to finish with 17. George Orwell was no more tempting apparently, as John spent all of his chat with Mr. Weston discussing the latter’s admittedly splendid moustache – a style known as an ‘english moustache ‘ in the moustache championships, you’ll be delighted to learn. He took the lead by pushing his score up to 19.
Italian politics, not surprisingly, must have lit John’s candle, and for the first time tonight he stuck to the contender's subject for the inter round chat. Mr. Minns set off at a cracking pace, and was well into his round before he dropped his first point. He didn’t drop many of these, either. 14 is the highest score in a general knowledge round of this series so far, and this was equalled in an impressive display.
Poor Tony Black must have felt that he was in with a good chance at the halfway stage, but as it was he needed at least 12 to win. After a bad start he never looked as if he was going to make it, and he didn’t, despite a good recovery after a slow start. He finished on 24.
So congratulations to Frank Minns. I felt that his general knowledge round was very impressive. He showed a real width of knowledge, and while its possible that this may just be a flash in the pan, I doubt it. So if he picks the right subject for the semi finals, then he demands to be taken seriously.
The Details
First up was Andrew Weston, answering questions on the Novels of George Orwell. According to wikipedia 6 of Orwell’s works are considered to be novels, so the contender had a considerable body of work to swot up. He achieved an even dozen, which left him well in contention at the halfway stage.
Second to go was Tony Black. In a noticeably highbrow heat, Mr. Black provided a little light relief by answering on Gram Parsons. For readers who know as little about Gram Parsons as I do, he was a member of The International Sunshine Band – sorry , never heard of them – The Byrds – definitely heard of them – and the Flying Burrito Brothers – figure it out for yourself. Thankfully Mr. Banks knew considerably more than I did about Gram Parsons, and scored 15. That’s good quizzing.
Possibly the widest subject of the week was that offered by Frank Minns – Italian politics from 1944 to 1994. That’s fifty turbulent years. Questions about Aldo Moro, Roberto Calvi and the Masonic P2 lodge were the only questions in the round to be attempted from the Clark sofa. Still Mr. Minns was good value for his 13 points.
Richard Griffiths brought the first round to a close with a round on the music of Shostakovitch. This had been a high scoring contest so far, with all of the contenders getting into double figures on their specialist rounds. So Mr. Griffiths can count himself a little unlucky to find himself in fourth place having scored 11.
On with the General Knowledge. Mr. Griffiths returned to the chair, to find out that John Humphrys was not the least bit interested in Shostakovitch, and instead concentrated on Mr. Griffiths’ work in Manchester Royal Infirmary. When the round started he managed to add 6 to his score to finish with 17. George Orwell was no more tempting apparently, as John spent all of his chat with Mr. Weston discussing the latter’s admittedly splendid moustache – a style known as an ‘english moustache ‘ in the moustache championships, you’ll be delighted to learn. He took the lead by pushing his score up to 19.
Italian politics, not surprisingly, must have lit John’s candle, and for the first time tonight he stuck to the contender's subject for the inter round chat. Mr. Minns set off at a cracking pace, and was well into his round before he dropped his first point. He didn’t drop many of these, either. 14 is the highest score in a general knowledge round of this series so far, and this was equalled in an impressive display.
Poor Tony Black must have felt that he was in with a good chance at the halfway stage, but as it was he needed at least 12 to win. After a bad start he never looked as if he was going to make it, and he didn’t, despite a good recovery after a slow start. He finished on 24.
So congratulations to Frank Minns. I felt that his general knowledge round was very impressive. He showed a real width of knowledge, and while its possible that this may just be a flash in the pan, I doubt it. So if he picks the right subject for the semi finals, then he demands to be taken seriously.
The Details
| Andrew Weston | The Novels of George Orwell | 12 - 1 | 7 - 4 | 19 – 5 |
| Tony Black | Life and Music of Gram Parsons | 15 - 1 | 9 - 5 | 24 – 6 |
| Frank Minns | Italian Politics 1944 - 1994 | 13 - 3 | 14 - 4 | 27 – 7 |
| Richard Griffiths | The Music of Shostakovitch | 11 - 2 | 6 - 5 | 17 – 7 |
Thursday, 2 April 2009
Post Mortem Googling
"Count Your Beans" is, of course, a jolly jape to herald the arrival of the month of April, apologies for that. Although to come to think of it I am sure that I have seen sillier shows on TV in the past than "Count Your Beans ". 3 - 2 - 1 comes to mind. I am sure that you needed to be a Bletchley Park level code cracker to unravel some of the rhyming clues on that show. Now, back to reality.
Reality on Tuesday night took the shape of the quiz in The Duke of Wellington in Cowbridge. You may recall that we're currently attending this particular quiz every other week, and that the last time we played there we were beaten by a couple of points, although we won the Lucky Seven jackpot. You know how it works - 7 questions are asked which are seperate from the rest of the quiz. Anyone who gets all seven right gets a share of the rolling jackpot. If nobody gets all seven right, then it rolls on to the next week. If you're the only team who get all seven right, then you scoop the whole lot yourself.
We won the quiz this time, although we didn't win the lucky seven. I am ashamed to say that to the question
"Who won the 2008 British grand Prix ?" I confidently declared that Lewis Hamilton was too obvious, and so we plumped for Felipe Massa. Of course it was Lewis Hamilton. Then I also confidently declared that Framlingham Castle was in Norfolk. Of course its Suffolk. Finally, though, none of us knew the answer to the question
"In December 1993, who became the only act ever to have a number one hit in the UK, with a song which was the same name as the act ? "
In case you don't know, I'll put you out of your misery by telling you that it was that all-time classic, "Mr. Blobby" by , of course, Mr. Blobby.
As I say, we won the quiz, dropping two points in the process, and yet we only had one answer wrong. At the end of round one, there's always a 'lyric question'. Part of the lyric is read out from a pop song old or new, then you have to name the song and the singer - a point for each. Unusually, this time we were even given the year - 1973. Now, unfortunately, this didn't help at all. The words we were given
"25 for speed limit
Motorcycle not allowed in it
You go to the store on Friday
You go to church on Sunday"
might just as well have been read out in Serbo-Croat, or any other language I don't know for all the good it did us. By this time, no doubt many of you will have allowed the words "Nutbush City Limit - Ike and Tina Turner " to have passed your lips, and you are indeed correct to do so. However I mut admit I couldn't help thinking that 1973 seemed a bit late for Ike and Tina. Well, blow me down, when I got home and googled it, 1973 was absolutely spot on.
Apart from my closest quiz friends and my family, you are now the only people to whom I have revealed this dark and shameful secret : I am in fact a post mortem googler. The shame of it. Yes, I am that anal that when I hear an answer that really surprises me, or alternatively, that I think is 'dodgy', I do go home and look it up on google to find out if its true, or if the question master/question setter has dished up a wrong'un.
Not that there's a huge amount you can do if he has dished up a wrong'un, most of the time. The only time that I can recall a post mortem googling session bringing me anything other than a moment or two of fleeting satisfaction was after a jackpot round in the Dynevor Arms. In case you haven't been with me from the start of the blog last summer, the Dynevor Arms is a pub in Groesfaen near Cardiff. They do a nice little Sunday night quiz every other week. John and I stopped going there when we dragged it out of the question master that a number of teams had stopped coming because we kept winning too many times , and so he was going to do a "bingo quiz" format instead ( aaarrrrgggghhhh ! ) Right, well, back to the story. Ralph the question master on this particular night asked 3 jackpot questions, the last of which was "What was the name of Britain's first ever national airline ? " We had the other two correct, and we thought that we had the last one right with our answer " Imperial Airways ". Ralph announced the answers, then said "I'm afraid that you had to have the last one absolutely right. One team got very close, with Imperial Airways, but it was in fact Imperial Airlines."
The only thing is, the correct answer really was Imperial Airways. However instead of the backlash from us, which probably Ralph expected, he was surprised to get a backlash from a few other teams as well about it. To this day I don't know whether
a) Ralph just made an honest cock up - which he really shouldn't have done in a jackpot round
or
b) He didn't want us to take any more money that night, and so deliberately gave a wrong answer.
Whatever the case, he immediately qualified it with the caveat that if we could prove he was wrong, we would have the jackpot due to us in a fortnight. I printed off the relevant pages from three different sources, and went back to the Dynevor in a fortnight, armed and ready for battle. For battle which never came. Ralph cried off that night, but he cravenly left the jackpot with the landlord to give to us. So either he knew perfectly well that we were right, or he carried out his own post mortem google.
As I recall this was all over a far from princely £10.
Its the Aberavon Rugby Club tonight, and its Clive's quiz. Clive, you may recall, does a good, old-fashioned bread and butter quiz, the kind that you won't win by getting difficult things right, but you do win by not getting easy things wrong. I dropped two sitters last time he did a quiz, on rivers, and we lost by those two points. So tonight I shall do an hour or so's pre-mortem cramming on rivers, just to make sure that I don't do that again. Of course, you can be pretty sure that he won't ask anything about rivers this time round.
Does a win matter ? No, and also yes. No, it doesn't matter, because its all for fun, and if you lose there's always next week anyway - it doesn't cost a penny to enter , and there's no prizes. Yes, it does matter for personal pride. I have only lost one quiz in the rugby club so far this year. Considering its now April, and I have only produced three of the quizzes myself, that's a pretty good batting average, and something I'd like to keep up, especially since on more than one occasion we've won against large teams with only three of us playing.
All of which crowing from the top of my own dungheap will, I'm sure, practically guarantee that we won't win tonight.
Reality on Tuesday night took the shape of the quiz in The Duke of Wellington in Cowbridge. You may recall that we're currently attending this particular quiz every other week, and that the last time we played there we were beaten by a couple of points, although we won the Lucky Seven jackpot. You know how it works - 7 questions are asked which are seperate from the rest of the quiz. Anyone who gets all seven right gets a share of the rolling jackpot. If nobody gets all seven right, then it rolls on to the next week. If you're the only team who get all seven right, then you scoop the whole lot yourself.
We won the quiz this time, although we didn't win the lucky seven. I am ashamed to say that to the question
"Who won the 2008 British grand Prix ?" I confidently declared that Lewis Hamilton was too obvious, and so we plumped for Felipe Massa. Of course it was Lewis Hamilton. Then I also confidently declared that Framlingham Castle was in Norfolk. Of course its Suffolk. Finally, though, none of us knew the answer to the question
"In December 1993, who became the only act ever to have a number one hit in the UK, with a song which was the same name as the act ? "
In case you don't know, I'll put you out of your misery by telling you that it was that all-time classic, "Mr. Blobby" by , of course, Mr. Blobby.
As I say, we won the quiz, dropping two points in the process, and yet we only had one answer wrong. At the end of round one, there's always a 'lyric question'. Part of the lyric is read out from a pop song old or new, then you have to name the song and the singer - a point for each. Unusually, this time we were even given the year - 1973. Now, unfortunately, this didn't help at all. The words we were given
"25 for speed limit
Motorcycle not allowed in it
You go to the store on Friday
You go to church on Sunday"
might just as well have been read out in Serbo-Croat, or any other language I don't know for all the good it did us. By this time, no doubt many of you will have allowed the words "Nutbush City Limit - Ike and Tina Turner " to have passed your lips, and you are indeed correct to do so. However I mut admit I couldn't help thinking that 1973 seemed a bit late for Ike and Tina. Well, blow me down, when I got home and googled it, 1973 was absolutely spot on.
Apart from my closest quiz friends and my family, you are now the only people to whom I have revealed this dark and shameful secret : I am in fact a post mortem googler. The shame of it. Yes, I am that anal that when I hear an answer that really surprises me, or alternatively, that I think is 'dodgy', I do go home and look it up on google to find out if its true, or if the question master/question setter has dished up a wrong'un.
Not that there's a huge amount you can do if he has dished up a wrong'un, most of the time. The only time that I can recall a post mortem googling session bringing me anything other than a moment or two of fleeting satisfaction was after a jackpot round in the Dynevor Arms. In case you haven't been with me from the start of the blog last summer, the Dynevor Arms is a pub in Groesfaen near Cardiff. They do a nice little Sunday night quiz every other week. John and I stopped going there when we dragged it out of the question master that a number of teams had stopped coming because we kept winning too many times , and so he was going to do a "bingo quiz" format instead ( aaarrrrgggghhhh ! ) Right, well, back to the story. Ralph the question master on this particular night asked 3 jackpot questions, the last of which was "What was the name of Britain's first ever national airline ? " We had the other two correct, and we thought that we had the last one right with our answer " Imperial Airways ". Ralph announced the answers, then said "I'm afraid that you had to have the last one absolutely right. One team got very close, with Imperial Airways, but it was in fact Imperial Airlines."
The only thing is, the correct answer really was Imperial Airways. However instead of the backlash from us, which probably Ralph expected, he was surprised to get a backlash from a few other teams as well about it. To this day I don't know whether
a) Ralph just made an honest cock up - which he really shouldn't have done in a jackpot round
or
b) He didn't want us to take any more money that night, and so deliberately gave a wrong answer.
Whatever the case, he immediately qualified it with the caveat that if we could prove he was wrong, we would have the jackpot due to us in a fortnight. I printed off the relevant pages from three different sources, and went back to the Dynevor in a fortnight, armed and ready for battle. For battle which never came. Ralph cried off that night, but he cravenly left the jackpot with the landlord to give to us. So either he knew perfectly well that we were right, or he carried out his own post mortem google.
As I recall this was all over a far from princely £10.
Its the Aberavon Rugby Club tonight, and its Clive's quiz. Clive, you may recall, does a good, old-fashioned bread and butter quiz, the kind that you won't win by getting difficult things right, but you do win by not getting easy things wrong. I dropped two sitters last time he did a quiz, on rivers, and we lost by those two points. So tonight I shall do an hour or so's pre-mortem cramming on rivers, just to make sure that I don't do that again. Of course, you can be pretty sure that he won't ask anything about rivers this time round.
Does a win matter ? No, and also yes. No, it doesn't matter, because its all for fun, and if you lose there's always next week anyway - it doesn't cost a penny to enter , and there's no prizes. Yes, it does matter for personal pride. I have only lost one quiz in the rugby club so far this year. Considering its now April, and I have only produced three of the quizzes myself, that's a pretty good batting average, and something I'd like to keep up, especially since on more than one occasion we've won against large teams with only three of us playing.
All of which crowing from the top of my own dungheap will, I'm sure, practically guarantee that we won't win tonight.
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
A Brand New Quiz Show
The Quiz Show To Beat All Quiz Shows
In a lesser known Two Ronnies sketch, Ronnie Corbett, playing a diminutive cockney gangster asked Ronnie Barker
"You know what walls have got, don't you, John ? " to which Ronnie Barker replied
"Sausages. "
Of course, the real answer was 'ears', and indeed, events this week seem to bear out the truth of the old saying. My spies are everywhere, and so word has reached me that the BBC are highly excited about a new 'quiz show to beat all quiz shows' that is already in a highly advanced stage of development, with the aim of using it in the National Lottery slot currently being used with "1 v. 100" and "In It To Win It".
The show has been developed under the working title, "Count your Beans", the English translation of the phrase "Comptez Vos Haricots !", this being the title of the popular Belgian show presented by Plastique Bertrand, upon which it is based. Of course the Belgian show itself was based on a Japanese original, entitled, in romaji - "Kazoeageru - ingen " which I am unreliably informed means something like " It is time to audit the baked vegetable products ", but you catch the drift.
As I understand it, the contracts have not been signed with the prospective hosts yet, but the source of my information suggests that the BBC are definitely going to follow their preferred format of using broadcast journalists and news presenters to front their quizzes. The smart money fancies a David and Jonathan Dimbleby tag team for the elimination rounds of each show, then, through the wonders of technology, a hologram of the late Robin Day will ask the questions in the final round - or - Asobigoto-fainaru - to use the original terminology.
Each programme will begin with 57 contestants, in honour of the Heinz Corporation's most excellent baked bean products - Heinz being the sponsors of the original show on Japanese television. Each contestant ( or 'kyo-gisha' ) will face 57 questions, based on their 57 specialist subjects chosen before the show. ( Each contestant has to submit a 2 page essay on each of 57 different subjects before they are even auditioned ) Of these, only eight contestants go through to the next round. Contestants are selected according to the famous "Countdown - Vorderman" selection criteria - that is, the contestants are listed in order of their scores, highest first, lowest last, and the computer randomly selects one from the top, three from the middle, two from the bottom, and another two from anywhere you like. As it stands, the selection round of 57 takes a week or so to complete, so is not included in the broadcast show - although selections of the funniest and silliest answers will be included on the bonus disk of the "Count Your Beans" DVD ( available in all good retailers - the perfect Christmas / Valentines/ Easter / gift - delete where applicable )
The first televised round of the show, the round of eight ( hachi - asobigoto ) will see the first host - hopefully this will be jolly funster Dave Dimbleby - asking the eight contestants a set of questions in turn. For each correct answer the contestants will earn a can of beans. ( Heinz in the original version, but I believe that the BBC will go for unbranded generics ) . The object is to build a pyramid of cans with 4 cans on the bottom row, 3 on the next, and so on. Bottom row questions are proportionately easier than second row, and so on. When a contestant gives a wrong answer to the final question which would have allowed them to place the top can on the pyramid, and thus guarantee safe passage through to the round of four ( shi - asobigoto ) , then Sir Trevor Macdonald ( subject to contract negotiations ) will run onto the set , dressed as a can of beans, and shout
" What has he/she done ? " to which the audience will respond by shouting the show's catchphrase,
" He/she's spilled the beans !" , and the pyramid so carefully constructed by the contestant will topple over, and the contestant will have to start constructing their pyramid all over again. The first four contestants to complete their pyramids without spilling the beans will go through to the next round.
The shi - asobigoto ( round of four ) sees contestants face a different general knowledge challenge. Jonathan Dimbleby ( the man of a thousand quips ! ) takes over the question master's reins, as the contestants undergo a round of akanasu-kawasu (Avoid the Tomato) A starter question is asked, and the first to shout the correct answer is given the opportunity to nominate one of the opponents. They are then given a question, and if they get it wrong, then they are eliminated. Sir Trevor Macdonald (subject to contract negotiations ) , this time in full tomato costume comes out, and shouts to the crowd -
"His/her race is done !" which will be the cue for the crowd to shout the show's second catchphrase
"He/she won't ketchup now ! "
My informant did say that in the original japanese version the contestants were sitting on tilting chairs above a vat of tomato ketchup, which would deposit them into the ketchup for a wrong answer - but the BBC decided against the ketchup on the grounds of expense, and also that their version is supposed to be a serious quiz show.
Excitement builds as two contestants go through to the fainaru asobigoto, where the two Dimblebys will join forces to ask a variety of questions, at speed. The aim of the game is complete the ingurisshuburekkufa (Full English ) , where simpler questions will earn each contender a dollop of scrambled egg, more difficult questions will earn a rasher of bacon and a slice of fried bread, and the most difficult question will earn the beans. When one contender has answered enough questions correctly Sir Trevor Macdonald ( subject to contract negotiations ), this time in the guise of a giant pot of mustard, will run back on and shout,
"That's the Full English !" which will be the cue for the crowd to shout the show's third catchphrase
" Yum yum !"
The losing finalist will be fobbed off with a small consolation prize - the nature of this has yet to be decided, but its a fair bet that it will be a piece of perspex in the shape of a baked bean . Then the kachiuma (winner) will be invited to enter the mikusuto - guriru (mixed grill ) for the geru asobigoto - the cash round. By the magic of modern technology a hologram of the late Robin Day will ask questions of rising difficulty. Each correct answer will add a bean to the giant tin which is the centrepiece of the mixed grill area of the set. Once the tin is full, then the contestant has won, and will receive £1000 pounds for each bean within the can, and the much prised goruden- ingen ( golden bean ) However , a wrong answer will make the lever on the koresutero-meta ( cholesterol-o-meter ) rise higher, and once it reaches the level of kyo-shinsho ( heart attack ) then the buzzer will sound, and the game is over. The amount won is added up, and the Dimblebys present the kachiuma with the goruden-ingen , then Sir Trevor Macdonald ( subject to contract negotiations ) wearing a big smile, will lead the cast of Newsnight, and the studio audience in a rousing chorus of "Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit !" to end the show.
When I asked my source when the first show is likely to be broadcast, he replied that what with contract negotiations still pending, sets to be built, and contestants to be auditioned, its unlikely to be broadcast before next spring - in all likelihood on the First of April.
In a lesser known Two Ronnies sketch, Ronnie Corbett, playing a diminutive cockney gangster asked Ronnie Barker
"You know what walls have got, don't you, John ? " to which Ronnie Barker replied
"Sausages. "
Of course, the real answer was 'ears', and indeed, events this week seem to bear out the truth of the old saying. My spies are everywhere, and so word has reached me that the BBC are highly excited about a new 'quiz show to beat all quiz shows' that is already in a highly advanced stage of development, with the aim of using it in the National Lottery slot currently being used with "1 v. 100" and "In It To Win It".
The show has been developed under the working title, "Count your Beans", the English translation of the phrase "Comptez Vos Haricots !", this being the title of the popular Belgian show presented by Plastique Bertrand, upon which it is based. Of course the Belgian show itself was based on a Japanese original, entitled, in romaji - "Kazoeageru - ingen " which I am unreliably informed means something like " It is time to audit the baked vegetable products ", but you catch the drift.
As I understand it, the contracts have not been signed with the prospective hosts yet, but the source of my information suggests that the BBC are definitely going to follow their preferred format of using broadcast journalists and news presenters to front their quizzes. The smart money fancies a David and Jonathan Dimbleby tag team for the elimination rounds of each show, then, through the wonders of technology, a hologram of the late Robin Day will ask the questions in the final round - or - Asobigoto-fainaru - to use the original terminology.
Each programme will begin with 57 contestants, in honour of the Heinz Corporation's most excellent baked bean products - Heinz being the sponsors of the original show on Japanese television. Each contestant ( or 'kyo-gisha' ) will face 57 questions, based on their 57 specialist subjects chosen before the show. ( Each contestant has to submit a 2 page essay on each of 57 different subjects before they are even auditioned ) Of these, only eight contestants go through to the next round. Contestants are selected according to the famous "Countdown - Vorderman" selection criteria - that is, the contestants are listed in order of their scores, highest first, lowest last, and the computer randomly selects one from the top, three from the middle, two from the bottom, and another two from anywhere you like. As it stands, the selection round of 57 takes a week or so to complete, so is not included in the broadcast show - although selections of the funniest and silliest answers will be included on the bonus disk of the "Count Your Beans" DVD ( available in all good retailers - the perfect Christmas / Valentines/ Easter / gift - delete where applicable )
The first televised round of the show, the round of eight ( hachi - asobigoto ) will see the first host - hopefully this will be jolly funster Dave Dimbleby - asking the eight contestants a set of questions in turn. For each correct answer the contestants will earn a can of beans. ( Heinz in the original version, but I believe that the BBC will go for unbranded generics ) . The object is to build a pyramid of cans with 4 cans on the bottom row, 3 on the next, and so on. Bottom row questions are proportionately easier than second row, and so on. When a contestant gives a wrong answer to the final question which would have allowed them to place the top can on the pyramid, and thus guarantee safe passage through to the round of four ( shi - asobigoto ) , then Sir Trevor Macdonald ( subject to contract negotiations ) will run onto the set , dressed as a can of beans, and shout
" What has he/she done ? " to which the audience will respond by shouting the show's catchphrase,
" He/she's spilled the beans !" , and the pyramid so carefully constructed by the contestant will topple over, and the contestant will have to start constructing their pyramid all over again. The first four contestants to complete their pyramids without spilling the beans will go through to the next round.
The shi - asobigoto ( round of four ) sees contestants face a different general knowledge challenge. Jonathan Dimbleby ( the man of a thousand quips ! ) takes over the question master's reins, as the contestants undergo a round of akanasu-kawasu (Avoid the Tomato) A starter question is asked, and the first to shout the correct answer is given the opportunity to nominate one of the opponents. They are then given a question, and if they get it wrong, then they are eliminated. Sir Trevor Macdonald (subject to contract negotiations ) , this time in full tomato costume comes out, and shouts to the crowd -
"His/her race is done !" which will be the cue for the crowd to shout the show's second catchphrase
"He/she won't ketchup now ! "
My informant did say that in the original japanese version the contestants were sitting on tilting chairs above a vat of tomato ketchup, which would deposit them into the ketchup for a wrong answer - but the BBC decided against the ketchup on the grounds of expense, and also that their version is supposed to be a serious quiz show.
Excitement builds as two contestants go through to the fainaru asobigoto, where the two Dimblebys will join forces to ask a variety of questions, at speed. The aim of the game is complete the ingurisshuburekkufa (Full English ) , where simpler questions will earn each contender a dollop of scrambled egg, more difficult questions will earn a rasher of bacon and a slice of fried bread, and the most difficult question will earn the beans. When one contender has answered enough questions correctly Sir Trevor Macdonald ( subject to contract negotiations ), this time in the guise of a giant pot of mustard, will run back on and shout,
"That's the Full English !" which will be the cue for the crowd to shout the show's third catchphrase
" Yum yum !"
The losing finalist will be fobbed off with a small consolation prize - the nature of this has yet to be decided, but its a fair bet that it will be a piece of perspex in the shape of a baked bean . Then the kachiuma (winner) will be invited to enter the mikusuto - guriru (mixed grill ) for the geru asobigoto - the cash round. By the magic of modern technology a hologram of the late Robin Day will ask questions of rising difficulty. Each correct answer will add a bean to the giant tin which is the centrepiece of the mixed grill area of the set. Once the tin is full, then the contestant has won, and will receive £1000 pounds for each bean within the can, and the much prised goruden- ingen ( golden bean ) However , a wrong answer will make the lever on the koresutero-meta ( cholesterol-o-meter ) rise higher, and once it reaches the level of kyo-shinsho ( heart attack ) then the buzzer will sound, and the game is over. The amount won is added up, and the Dimblebys present the kachiuma with the goruden-ingen , then Sir Trevor Macdonald ( subject to contract negotiations ) wearing a big smile, will lead the cast of Newsnight, and the studio audience in a rousing chorus of "Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit !" to end the show.
When I asked my source when the first show is likely to be broadcast, he replied that what with contract negotiations still pending, sets to be built, and contestants to be auditioned, its unlikely to be broadcast before next spring - in all likelihood on the First of April.
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