Only Connect : Series 10 Grand Final

Orienteers v. Chessmen

Here it is, ladies and germs, the first Only Connect Grand Final on BBC2. Let’s pause for a moment to reflect on what a successful transition this has been to the terrestrial channel. Those of us fortunate enough to have easy access to BBC4 have been enjoying the powerhouse Monday quiz hour for years, but now it’s been opened to a whole new audience they seem to have lapped it up as well.

Well, enough of such chaff. The Orienteers, Paul Beecher, Simon Spiro and captain Sean Blanchflower have cut a swathe through this series, entering the final undefeated. The Chessmen, on the other hand, Henry Pertinez, Nick Mills and Stephen Pearson, have flirted with disaster during the series, losing once, and needing a tie break to reach the quarter finals.

Round One – What’s the Connection?

Put into bat the Teers opted for Twisted Flax. Greek Bible Writings of St. Ephrem looked confusing – St. Luke’s Gospel A lectionary followed, Archimedes Stomachion A Prayer Book was third, and all I could come up with was works which had been written over by others – or to put it another way, palimpsests.The last – Institutes of Gaius Writings of St. Jerome – illustrated the point that unusually, with this set, I don’t know that the last clue made it any more obvious than the first, but I don’t know – maybe the last is an extremely well known palimpsest and I just haven’t heard of it. Anyway the Teers had it off this last one to earn a very valuable point. Captain Stephen of the Ches again flirted with disaster by not stressing the second vowel of the viper. They received William Henry Harrison. OK – presidents who dies in office? Too obvious. Presidents succeeded by descendants? Even more obvious. Zachary Taylor came next, and that certainly muddied the waters. Generals who became presidents? John Tyler came next, and I was running out of ideas. Millard Fillmore – now, this one, unlike the last set, did actually make it a bit clearer. I had it in my head that Fillmore was an American Whig, and so this was my guess. Bloomin’ good one as it turned out. No points for either of the teams, and so the Teers opted for Lion. Now, a surprisingly obvious set followed. We heard Spike Milligan followed by Joanna Lumley – in full smug mode I shouted – bet the last one is Cliff Richard, since they were both born in India. Actually that was the next clue. In fact the Teers needed the last clue, the sitar stylings of Ravi Shankar, to get it. Never mind, it’s always better to make sure of getting a point and not giving away a bonus, especially at this stage of the competition. The Ches took two reeds and received Heisei 26 – and Henry was right onto it. He knew that this referred to the reign of a Japanese Emperor. Yang Wood Horse came next, which was Chinese, and then 1435 AH. So these then were the year 2014 in different calendars – Japanese, Chinese and Islamic. The Ches made sure of the point by taking the last clue 2014. For the Teers, the name Diarmuid Ua Duibhne kicked off their last set, meaning nothing to me/ White Death, which came second, is a nickname for Tuberculosis. Which didn’t help me, nor did the third clue – Robin Hood. King Charles II, well I could see a connection between him and Robin Hood – in as much as they both used oak trees – Charles hiding in one, and Hood living in one, supposedly. The Teers didn’t get it, but the Ches thought much the same as me and received a bonus for it. White Death was a Finnish sniper. Finnishing off the round, then, the Ches received pictures of a yellow octopus – a sailing ship – Friday 29^th February marked on a calendar – huh? – and an oyster. Well, I went for cards as in Oyster card – but I don’t know whether I would have been given it, sine I didn’t specifically link it up to travelcards. The Teers, given a chance for a bonus did something similar, but when given a second bite went specifically with Transport for London, and missed out. So the score at the end of the round was 2 apiece.

Round Two – What Comes Fourth?

In this round it was Sean who spurned the curse of the viper. The set the Teers received as 4^th: Watt (W) – SI Units, ok, but what sequence – 3^rd: Celsius (C ) – suggested that we were dealing with them in order of which the people they were named after were born. I wondered whether it might be Newton, but no, for that was the next clue. The Ches went for 1^st: Joule (J). Incorrect. Henry of the Ches supplied 1^st: Pascal (PA) and that was correct. Good shout. The Ches had the chance to capitalize on that bonus when they picked Water, to find that they had found the music sequence. Now, this was one of those that you were going to slap your head about if you didn’t get it. Well, that’s wehat I did anyway when I didn’t get it. We began with Elton john’s Your Song, and finished with Franke Goes To Hollywood’s The Power of Love. They were the songs, if not the artists, to accompany successive John lewis Christmas Adverts. So as the Teers knew for a bonus, the next would be Somewhere only we know – originally by Keane, but sung in the ad by Lily Allen. So now the Teers had the chance to establish a lead. They opted for twisted flax, and we saw a picture of jack Wilde as the Artful dodger in Oliver! With 8^th in the top right hand corner. Next we had Tiger Woods, and 7^th. I wondered if  Dodger and Tiger might be a reference to US baseball teams – maybe the number of World Series wins for them or something. The 6^th looked for all world like a picture of someone being Sweeny Todd, which blew the baseball theory out of the water. The connection, which nobody had, was that each of them had broken commandments. So the 5^th commandment – respect thy parents – was represented by Harry Enfield’s Kevin the Teenager. For all the fact that none of us were anywhere near getting it, that was a good set. Two Reeds for the Ches kicked off with I am Archaeopteryx. Hmm – a word thing by the look of it. I am a prillarhorn. Now, crossword fans would have had it at this point. The two contained March and April in between the words. So anything like I am Cajun English. The Ches had it on the last clue. Unfortunately for me numbers reared their ugly heads in the next set for the Teers. Lion gave them 34.1 – 13.6 – 2.1 – Sean gave the answer 0.1, which was the correct answer, and then admitted he only picked it because it felt right mathematically. The sequence was standard deviations in a normal distribution. You don’t say. Eye of Horus gave the Ches 5^th: AltaVista. Well, that was an old search engine, wasn’t it? 4^th: wa s Ask Jeeves – again, old search engine – 3^rd: McDonalds. Now, that upset the apple cart. Failing all else, I looked at the words, and correctly predicted 2^nd – iPad. The number refers to the letter of the word which is in capitals you see. Clever that. So the scores remained locked , now at 5 apiece.

Round Three – The Connecting Walls

The Ches picked the water wall. Quickly they isolated a set of cable/satellite channels – History – 4seven – Alibi and Discovery. There was clearly also a set of revolutions there as well. Orange – French – Velvet and October, and these fell next. They could see that there was a set of Nobel Prize categories too, so spent some time working out what the last set left would be. Once Stephen worked out that Biology could be a Girls Aloud song, they isolated the Nobels – Peace – Physics – Chemistry – Economics – Leaving Biology – Jump – Sexy! No No No – the Show as the Girls Aloud works. 10/10 – great work.

The Teers then needed something spectacular of their own. I could see both a set of cigarettes and a set of London Streets, which overlapped. The Teers themselves quickly saw that there was a set of words and phrases that can precede ‘runner’ . The there was also a set of collars. So it just meant that they needed to separate them all. Road – Blade – Bow Street and Long Distance were the runners. The wall was so cleverly constructed that the London Streets fed into each of the other categories rather than forming a category of their own. Next to fall were the cigarettes – Camel – Strand – Mayfair and Pall Mall. London – Whitehall – Daniel and Black are all famous Jacks, which left Picadilly – Whitehall –Buster Brown and Mandarin as the collars. For a long time it looked as if they weren’t going to get there, but the Teers pulled it out of the bag at the end. 10/10, which meant that the score was 15 all going into the vowels.

Round Four – Missing Vowels

A whole series came down to one round of missing vowels. Well, a close match is always more exciting than a walk over. We started with things usually found in threes – and these went 2 – 1 to the Teers. Impressionist Painters and their Paintings went 3 – 0 to the Teers. That was all we had time for. Very well played to both teams, but the Orienteers are series champions, having won by 20 – 16.Hard lines Chessmen, but well played.

Here’s an interesting fact. Whichever team had won would have provided us with the first dual University Challenge and Only Connect champ – for Henry won with Manchester a couple of years ago, and Sean a while before that. Many congratulations. 

Only Connect Semi Final 1

Chessmen v. The History Boys

A match between two returning teams, in fact, two teams both from the second series where they never actually met. The Chessmen, Henry Pertinez, Nick Mills and captain Stephen Pearson, made life harder for themselves by losing their first round match to the Linguists, but battled back to make their way through to this semi final. The History Boys, Rob Hannah, Craig Element and captain Gareth Kingston, have made rather more serene progress, and were my slight favourites to go through to the final from this match up.

Round One – What’s the Connection?

Gareth, going first, opted for the Lion. PHP: Hypertext preprocessor didn’t help me, neither did GNU’s not Unix! – The TTP Project again didn’t enlighten me, nor did WINE is not an emulator. The Hists had it not, but Henry of the Chessmen worked out that they are recursive acronyms. I get it – I just don’t like it that much. Steven invited down the curse of the viper by saying Horned, and earned a set of picture clues. Now, I have to thank Mr. Rose for four years of latin lessons here, as I got the answer which neither of the teams managed. I didn’t know the band Placebo – however we had a VIDEO cassette – the AUDIO symbol, and a game of LUDO – latin for I see – I hear – I play. Eye of Horus gave the Hists Lanthanides. Well, bearing in mind this is a semi final the answer Elements looked far too simple, so I would definitely have asked for another. Gaelic Football team seemed to make it clearer. There are 15 in a Gaelic Football team, and there are 15 lanthanides. The boys had the connection but weren’t sure of the number. UN Security council came next, and I wondered if Rugby Union team would finish it off. The Boys went off 3 clues, and the last would have been A Scottish jury – ah. The Ches went for water and received Samenwerken Profiteren Allen Regelmatig. Gesundheit. Look at the first letters, peeps. That’s Spar! Albrecht Diskont is definitely Aldi. So that has to be the full name of (grocer’s) retailers which we normally know by abbreviations or acronyms. Phew. Twisted Flax gave the Hists The Boulevard (Crime and Punishment) – Pamela’s Suitor (Pamela). In Samuel Richardson’s Pamela ( only worth reading because it means you can get the full benefit of Henry Fielding’s Shamela) the suitor is Mr. B. Mr. Wickham’s Regiment (Pride and Predjudice) I couldn’t recall. The last clue The Year (Treasure Island) made me wonder, would these all be things which were left incomplete – as in Twas in the year 17 - - I think my answer would have been accepted too, even though the Ches’ bonus answer, that they are not given wasn’t. Inevitably this left the music waiting behind two reeds for the Ches. The Battle of Aughrim – The Battle of New Orleans – The Battle of Evermore and The Battle of Jericho gave the Ches battles for a point. My Dad always swore that he knew Lonnie Donnegan playing around the pubs in Acton before he got famous. Lonnie Donnegan, that is. My Dad was never famous. Notorious in some circles, but that’s another story. That point saw the Ches take a lead of 5 – 2 into the second round.

Round Two – What Comes Fourth?

The Hists opted for Lion first, and received – Starting to Develop (- - - - - - - ) – Upward Movement (- - - - - - ) – at this stage Rob hd the principle behind the set, saying words where you take a letter off each time. After he worked that out, I had nascent – ascent – so the last would be American coin. The next clue – odour (- - - - - ) proved this. What a terrific set. Sadly words failed the Hists, but the Ches weren’t going to turn it down. Thus emboldened Steven again spurned the curse of the Viper. The first picture gave  what looked like the recycling sign with 4 in the middle and LDPE. Which meant we either needed Recycling 1 or Recycling 7. Didn’t matter since I didn’t know what either of them would be. The CHes helpfully supplied that this was all plastics. The second clue was 3 – PVC. SO which plastic would 1 be? 2 was HDPE. 1 apparently is PET – and the Ches had it. A well deserved point for that. Two Reeds gave the Hists a music sequence. I had no more idea than the Hists did, but Steven well knew that we’d heard a violin concerto, then a Viola Concerto, then a Cello concerto, so what would come next would be a double bass concerto. Hokay, moving swiftly on. Water gave the Ches A shotgun Shack, - another part of the world – obviously the lyrics of Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads, so I plumped for in a beautiful house. The third was behind the wheel of a large automobile  - The Ches just couldn’t get the next line, and sadly neither could the Hists to make up some lost ground. For their own next set they plumped for Eye of Horus. This gave them 300: Diocletian and Maximian. Well, in 300 AD Diocletian was certainly Emperor of Rome, and I had no problem with accepting that Maximian may have been co-Emperor. Working backwards, then Augustus was emperor in the year 0. A 5 pointer? Too royal, for the next was 200: Septimius Severus, who incidentally became Emperor in Eboracum, or York, if I recall correctly. This was the point at which the Hists went for it, and we were both correct. Much needed points earned there. The Ches took Twisted Flax, for that’s what was left. This revealed The Avenue – Saint Anne – and I was floundering at this point – then Saint Peter Port. The obvious thing was to go for St. Helier for the last, obviously the Ches thought so too. We were both right for a point. Which mean that the score stood at 11 – 5 to the Ches, and the Hists were in need of a very good wall.

Round Three – The Connecting Walls

The Ches kicked off with the water wall. Steven saw 5 sons of Jacob, and methodically isolated Asher – Benjamin – Gad and Joseph. Now, I thought that the mountains on the wall weren’t just mountains, but also second highest mountains – K2 (the world) – Ojos de Solado (S. America) – Logan (N. America) – Kenya (Africa) Great idea except the set didn’t work when the boys tried it. Dykh Tau had to come in for Logan. That’s the second highest in Europe. They then saw 5 Irish Eurovision Song Contest winners, and took out Logan – Martin – Quinn and Dana. The words left -  Simeon – Leo IX – K-9 and Formic are all homophones for words describing creatures. 10 full points meant that the Hists were going to have to make like the Red Queen – run like hell to stay in the same place.

Pretty quickly the boys isolated a set of Brazilian footballers – Leonardo – Cafu – Didi and Socrates. Four fire deities – Pele – Hephaestus – Vulcan and Agni fell in fairly short order. Very quickly they sorted out their painters – Dali – Warhol – Duccio and Tintoretto – from their chickens – Poussin – Capon – Broiler and Pullet. Ten points needed and only 7 gained. Apparently the artists all painted the Last Supper. A bit harsh really, since it cost them 3 points. If you’re going to be that specific, at least include the really famous one – Leonardo – as part of the set. It made a difference too, since the Ches now led by 21 – 12.

Round Four – Missing Vowels

Well, it maybe wasn’t quite Mission Impossible for the Hists, but it was certainly Mission Flippin’ Difficult for them. Twin towns fell 2 – 1 to the Hists. Words you can type using only the top row of a qwerty keyboard. Now, on one of these Craig offered Typer insetad of Toper. Victoria said “No, because that would need a Y” Hello – there is a Y on the top row!!! I( think that must have been just a slip of the tongue, and the word is not in the OED or whatever source they used.) That and another early buzz put them back to 10 points behind, I’m afraid. Vowels fell 3 – 1 to the Ches. Antarctic Geography went 3 – 0 to the Hists, but at the end the score was 27 – 18. Hard lines, boys, but congratulations to the Chessmen! Best of luck in the final. 

Only Connect - Semi Final 2

Orienteers v. Q. I Elves

Yes, dear friends, I’m back to reviewing Only Connect, now that the blessed oasis of the Easter Holidays are here, following the most hectic school term of my almost three decades long career. I will try to catch up with the first semi final as soon as I can. 

 So on Monday night, with a place in the final at stake, the Orienteers, Paul Beecher, Simon Spiro and Sean Blanchflower, took on the Q.I.Elves, Anne Miller, Andrew Hunter-Murray and James Harkin. In a straight General Knowledge quiz, I’m sorry elves, but my money would be on the Orienteers every day of the week, and to my mind they had been the stronger of the two teams throughout the series as a whole. Well, nothing to lose for either team, so here we go.

Round One – What’s The Connection?

The Elves began picking Two Reeds. The first clue was a picture of the cast of George and Mildred, with Yootha Joyce’s face circled. Next we had a photo of Pat Phoenix, Elsie Tanner as was. Third picture, which I didn’t recognize was. The last clue was a photo of the entrance to the Salford Lads’ Club. In the photo there was a street name cut off, which could conceivably have been Coronation Street, so seeing Pat Phoenix as well that was my guess. Completely wrong. As were the Elves. The Teers, though, knew that they had all appeared on Smiths Album Covers. Right, you may recall how I’ve sometimes mentioned a number of parties which I arrived at after everyone else has left? Well, the Smiths are one where I never arrived in the first place – just never really ‘got’ them I suppose. Good bonus shout from the Teers, though. Twisted Flax gave the Teers – Island home of Circe. Now, I love my Greek Mythology, and knew that Circe’s island was known by the unlikely name of Aeaea. So were we going to get a set of words with no consonants? Yes, in a word, since the second, the three toed sloth, is an ai. The Third – Jupiter’s 3^rd largest moon – was Io. That was enough for the Teers – and I’ll be greedy enough to claim a five for myself. Wouldn’t have been if I’d been sitting in the studio mind, but I wasn’t, so it was. The Elves took Lion and the bong announced that they had picked the dreaded music set. Nobody had the set, but they were all titled, or nicknamed Pathetique – which is a pretty good description of my attempts to identify any of the pieces being played. The Teers picked Eye of Horus, and received for the first clue a complicated equation – for the second clue Unicode U+2665  - for the third – Less than three. Appparently they all make heart shapes. Nope, me neither, but the Teers did , more to the point. Bloomin good shout. James of the Elves obviously spurns the curse of the viper, since he asked for it Horned rather than Hornèd, and received Henry IV’s humiliation at Canossa. That’s not Henry IV of England, but the Holy Roman Empire. The Pope ordered the door of Canossa to be shut in his face. Indian Soccer Team 1948 Olympics gave it to the Elves, who knew that they played barefoot So obviously Henry had to go barefoot to the Pope to make up for whatever it was he did in the first place. Good shout – and needed too. Left with Water, the Teers started with Birmingham (1976 - ) then Stratford (2009 - ) International Stations occurred to me as well as to the Teers, but I didn’t know where Harwich (1995 -) came in. Unless there was also a Harwich International station – not impossible since it’s a port. Incidentally, my step father used to work in Mount Pleasant sorting offie, and he said his favourite ever letter was one addressed to Arijaba – which turned out to mean Harwich harbor. Waterloo (1994 – 2007) pretty much confirmed it. The point the Teers gained meant that they led by 6 – 3.

Round Two – What Comes Fourth?

Two reeds gave the Elves – 4 of 4: Reed. Nope. The second clue was 3 of 4: bible and the last was 2 of 4: bonnet. Neither I nor the elves had a clue. Amazingly, Simon of the Teers knew them as nicknames of the stomachs of a cow. He got it! Amazing considering that this was of the level of obscurity we saw in the oft criticized 9^th series. Lion gave the Teers 1^st: water jump in 300m Steeplechase. 2^nd was The Chari in the Grand National. Now, the Water jump isn’t jumped on the first lap, the chair not on the second lap. The third clue – ladies singles tie break at Wimbledon – well, it isn’t used on the third set. So you needed something missed out on the 4^th part of a competition, for example the vowels in Only Connect. Neither team had it, and I patted myself a bit on the back for doing so. Twisted Flax then showed the Elves an orange dice with the three dot face on show. Then a yellow dice with the six dot face. The Third was the same, but in green. The elves were out with the washing, but the fiendishly good Teers had it. This was colours of the rainbow with the number of dots representing the number of letters in the perceding colour – so the last would be blue with white spots. Eye of Horus gave the Teers 4^th Int: Perigny. Nope. 3^rd Int: Moscow. That suggested Communist International.I wasn’t put off by  2^nd Int: Paris. I had it in my head that the last would be 1^st: London. I was right too – Thanks Mr. Wheeler-Robinson (headteacher of my school, taught us 20^th century Russian History for A Level in 1981). Sean guessed it, and apologized for doing so. The Elves finished with , in red , #FF0000, then in pink #FF00FF, then yellow #FFFF00. None of us knew the answer is #FFFFFF in white. Fair enough. They are apparently the hex codes for internet colours. Finally the Teers were given 1000=Malta. Nope, then 500 = Germany. Simon came up with a brilliant shout – D is the registration letter for Germany, and also roman numeral for 500. So logically we would be looking for the country symbolized by L which would be Luxembourg. Great shout and the Teers looked awfully good value for their lead of 13 – 3.

Round Three – The Connecting Walls

At first the Teers had a go at instruments, and then switched their attentions to a set of fictional abbeys. They didn’t see Thomas Love Peacock’s Nightmare Abbey at the start. Then they did isolate a set of words which are names with one letter removed from the start – Liver – Avid – Ames and Avid.  That makes me an Avid Lark, apparently. Downton, previously thought to be one of the abbeys, was then lumped with Parks, Rhodes and Evans – England wicket keepers, I said, slapping my forehead. One go was all it needed to separate the keyboard instruments – CP-70, Wurlitzer, Clavinet and Baldwin Combo, which left Northanger – Theleme – Nightmare and Redwall. A little surprisingly they didn’t have England wicketkeepers, going for explorers/politicians, and they didn’t have electric keyboard instruments, so a potential 10 became 6. Still good enough, I fancied.

The Elves could see a group of male ballet dancers, but not isolate them, and a group of fictional kingdoms. I could see a group of words which all ended with boy’s names.They did too, but not quickly enough. Time ran out with no lines isolated. When the wall was resolved they saw Camelto – Troy – Nijinsky and Galileo were racehorse, but not that they were Derby winners.

Oceania, Oz, Narnia and Gilead were the fictional lands. Tharp, Nureyev, Guillem and Acosta were the ballet dancers, and Verbatim, Compete, Worsted and Chromophil the ones ending with boys’ names. 4 points not a bad return considering that they didn’t isolate any lines, but not enough. The Teers led 19 – 7. Game over.

Round Four – Missing Vowels

Things that aren’t an orange – eg -  William of Orange (nice one) fell 3 – 1 to the Teers. English Language national anthems fell this way – both teams lost a point, while the Teers took 2 and the Elves 1. Alternative names for fruit went 2 apiece and there was no time for features of the Solar System.

Well, the final score was 25 – 10. Congratulations to the Orienteers, and commiserations to the Elves. They can have no complaints – they had done well to get this far, but in the end, with the difficulty level ramped up they were always second best in this contest. As for the Teers, best of luck in the final. 

Only Connect - Quarter Final

Chessmen v. Gallifreyans

After a false start, losing to the Linguists, the Chessmen – Henry Pertinez, Nick  Mills and skipper Stephen Pearson, had to endure a tiebreaker against the Felinophiles in their sudden death qualification match. Their opposition, the Gallifreyans, John Dorney, Stuart Wildig and captain Giles Sparrow defeated the conquerors of the Chessmen, the Linguists and also the Wandering Minstrels to come straight through to this match. Now the thing is, in a straight general knowledge quiz between these two teams I would be backing the Chessmen every day of the week – but OC is not a straight general knowledge quiz. So let’s see what actually happened.

Round One – What’s the Connection?

Put into bat by the Ches, the Gals opted for Eye of Horus, which meant that we started with a music set. I’m sure that all Spurs fans like myself were gratified to head Glen Hoddle and Chris Waddle’s Diamond Lights again – they don’t make ‘em like that any more. Obviously they were all recorded by footballers – an idea confirmed by the execrable Gazza version of Fog on the Tyne. They offered Celebrities singing songs, and were given quite a bit of latitude by Victoria to allow them to supply footballers. Maybe a little bit fortunate to get the point there. The Ches opted for an unstressed Horned Viper – playing with fire if you ask me – and received Memory Stick – nope – Jazzercise. Hmm – were we by any chance in the realm of OED words of the year? Jacuzzi came next which blew that one out of the water. The last was Portaloo and the Ches gave the answer that these are all proprietary tradenames – put it another way, you may call any memory stick a memory stick, but that’s a brand name . Hoover, I suppose would be another one. All Hoovers are hoovers, but not all hoovers are Hoovers. Lion gave the Gals Acland and Sydney, then Michael and Emeric. Now these two, I felt sure, were Powell and Pressburger. So were these pairs of film makers? The Gals thought so, but no. Jack and Peggy – Jeffrey and Mary were the other two clues. The connection is Archers, as the Ches knew. Archer was Powell and Pressburger’s film company. Ah. For their own set the Ches received Norfolk, West Sussex – and they what looked like a brilliant shout. The Duke of Norfolk’s family seat IS in Arundel, West Sussex. Great shout, and a well earned 5 points. Two Reeds gave the Ches some pictures. We saw an appendix. Is it as simple as parts of a book, I wondered. The spine appeared next which proved it was. Hmm. This is a quarter final – isn’t that a little bit too simple? 3 points anyway. This left the Ches with Speedway: Pedersen – nope – then Squash – Khan. Now I had a punt at this , that it was sports with more than one world champion with the same surname – Jahangir and Kansher being world champion Khans in squash. Squash: Higgins confirmed it for me with Alex and John. I bet myself that the last would be Formula 1: Hill – Phil, Graham and Damon – and I was right. The Ches hadn’t seen it, then with hardly any time left they did for a point. Which meant that they led by 8 – 4.

Round Two – What Comes Fourth?

The Gals kicked off with a picture set. We saw Amy Adams, and unchastened by their Powell and Pressburger experience they decided the last would be a double D name like David Dimbleby. They went for 5, and got nowt. The next pictures were Beth Ditto and Jo Brand. Hmm. Amy – Beth – Jo – obviously we’d need a Meg as in Ryan to complete the March girls from Little Women. An easy bonus for the Ches there. They opted for the viper again, and kicked off with paktika. That’s a province of Afghanistan – but it didn’t help me a great deal. Zabul then Kandahar followed – so Kabul looked like a pretty good shout to me. The Ches thought so too and we were both wrong. Helmand was the answer as the Gals knew. Good shout for a bonus that. Eye of Horus gave the Gals – Nobody. Possibility overload there. Guildford Dudley, the second clue – was the husband of Lady Jane Grey. So working from nobody being spouse of Edward VI. My guess was Nobody for Elizabeth I, with Phillip II of Spain in 3^rd. The Gals only had it right at the last knockings, but had it they did. Water gave the Ches Has Anybody Seen My Gal? – not enough for me to go on, and then – East of Eden. John Steinbeck novel, and James Dean film. The next was Rebel without a cause. So, guessing that Has Aybody Seen My Gal was a film in which James Dean had a minor role, I went for Giant, so did the Ches, and we both had a point. Two Reeds gave the Gals Gonna Stay Up Late – Grab Your Crucifix – Better Lock Your Door. I remembered this from those interminable Nightmare on Elm Street films – and thought that the last would be Freddy’s Coming for You, or summat like that. Again it was right at the last that they snatched the point. Only Twisted Flax remained and it gave the Ches 4^th: Polish, 1978 – no idea. The Ches had popes straightaway. That was wrong though since the next was 3^rd: Czechoslovakian 1978. Nowm the third nationality in space was a Czech, so I went for 1^st: Russian 1961. The Ches needed 2^nd American 1961, and offered Soviet rather than Russian. Well, Gagarin was born in Russia, so hopefully I would have had the point. As for the match score, at this point the Ches led by 13 – 9.

Round Three – The Connecting Walls

The Ches kicked off seeing 5 islands of the Hebrides. A good process of elimination isolated the correct four. I saw words like pease and wise, which are pronounced like letters of the alphabet. The Ches saw them too and added use and seize. Three goes didn’t enable them to untangle the last two lines. We had Harris – Bentley – Terry and Harrow. I went for Chopper Harris and John Terry – Chelsea captains. Correct – the Ches didn’t see it. Twee – Elf – Otto and Cent – well – they looked like numbers to me apart from twee. The Ches didn’t have a Scooby, but numbers were correct. Twee apparently is two in Dutch. 4 points and the door was wide open for the Gals.

Names mentioned in Bohemian Rhapsody was the first set that the Gals went for. Scaramouch also fit into a set of Commedia Dell’Arte characters which were there too. Come to think of it there was a set of rabbit breeds too. Come to think of it Edward Scissorhands, Audrey Roberts and Sweeney Todd all cut hair at one time or another, For me this was an easier board, but the Gals had solved nothing yet. They isolated Pierrot – Scaramuch – Pantalone and Columbine, but it didn’t sound to me like they had the connection. They then took out the rabbits – Dutch – English Lop – Flemish giant and Harlequin. Everything suddenly clicked. They took out Audrey Roberts – Zohan – Sweeney Todd and Edward Scissorhands - leaving Beelzebub – Figaro – Fandango And Galileo from Bo Rap. By this time they had figured out Commedia Dell Arte and that meant they had a full house of 10. Which meant also that they now led by 19 – 17.

Round Four – Missing Vowels

Well, which team were the vowels going to suit? The first set was people in the famous 2014 Oscars selfie. These fell 2 -1 to the Ches, but crucially the Gals lost the point they gained for an incorrect answer. The next category was different British and American pronunciations. 2 – 1 to the Gals, who now led by 1 point. Numbers with their equivalent roman numerals were actually harder than you might think, and these fell 3 – 1 to the Ches, who now led by one. Battles of the Napoleonic Wars should, I felt, seal the deal for the Ches and 2 – 0 did just that. The final score was 25 – 22. A very good match, with the Ches deserving a narrow win.

Only Connect - Quarter Final

Q.I. Elves v. Nørdophiles

Anne Miller, Andrew Hunter-Murray and James Harkin, the Q.I. Elves, lost out in their first match against the Bibliophiles, but saw off the Nightwatchmen in their second, and the Coders last time out. So they were certainly a team with the wind behind them. The Nords, Will Day, James Keeling and captain Joanna Murray, secured a victory by 2 points over the Night Watchmen in the first round, and then beat the Bibliophiles to secure their place in this quarter final. On paper it was anybody’s game, but then games aren’t played on paper, so what does that matter?

Round One - What’s the Connection?

The Q.I Elves kicked off. Captain James picked Two Reeds, and possibly wished he hadn’t since this brought up the music set. We heard several pieces,  and I realized they were all about flowers when we heard a song from Carmen, and the British Airways music from years gone by. The Elves had it from Flower of Scotland. The Nords went for Twisted Flax, and received what looked at first like a funny old set – Usain Bolt – William Wordsworth – Mark De Man – at which point I had it – and Lord Judge. They are all, as the Nords explained, examples of nominative determinism. That is, they all do what is dictated by their names – Mark De Man is a footballer. Personally I don’t like Wordsworth as an example – all of the other surnames could be verbs. There we are, call me a pedant if you like. Lion gave the Elves – Nothing at all. Hokay – no chance of a five pointer there. Psychedelic Welsh Rock band followed – then superseded by ESA. I knew that ESA replaced Incapacity Benefit – just not how it fitted together with the other two clues. Captain James explained it. Nothing at all can be sweet Fanny Adams (supply your own alternatives) – SFA – and Super Furry Animals are also SFA. Apparently the third clue was the Securities and Futures thingy so I was barking up the wrong tree . Good shout. Now, with eye of Horus the Nords kicked off with ‘Three Musketeers Sequel’ – that’s the lesser known Twenty Years After. Odysseus returns home – well, that was twenty years after he set out. Three points to me. Rip van Winkle Awakens  - and – China Wedding anniversary completed the set. Serious quizzers would have probably had it from either of the last two, and it has to rank as an opportunity missed for the Nords when they went for 10 years. The Elves weren’t going to turn their collective nose up at that windfall. Thus emboldened James disdained the curse of the Viper, settling for the pronunciation Horned. Grundon (Waste Management) did nowt for me. The Goring (Hopitality Services) also left me scratching my head. Berry Brothers and Rudd Ltd. (wines and spirits) didn’t help, but Andrew gave the correct, and frankly, rather prosaic answer that they all supply services by Royal Appointment. Water left the pictures for the Nords, who were shown photos of various things – all very well known photos. I knew it was going to be the name of the photographer, but I just couldn’t remember. It was a fair question too, since the Kiss, the last, is very well known, but none of us could dredge up Robert Doisneau. Which meant that the Elves led by 6 – 1, and I wasn’t expecting that,

Round Two – What Comes Fourth?

The Elves sought to press home their advantage by taking Two Reeds first again. This brought up O6 – the six should be a lot smaller. Next was B5. It looked like chemistry – but what the sequence was I didn’t yet know. When FE4 came up it was obvious. Oxygen has 6 letters etc. So SN3 could be the only answer – tin being 3 letters long. The Elves had it. Lovely, lovely set. Lion gave the Nords – Washington’s Birthday. That’s celebrated on a Monday. Next was Mardi Gras – well that’s a Tuesday – the clue is in the name. We both went for Thanksgiving – which is on a Thursday , and we were both right.  Twisted flax showed the elves a -  → Gulf of Mexico – Then we had →East China Sea. Third was →Atlantic Ocean. None of us knew that the answer was →Mediterranean Sea. Actually the Nords has worked out that it might be outflows of the world’s longest rivers, which was the sequence. Never saw it myself. The Nords needed points, and so captain Joanna asked for Hornèd Viper. My fingers were crossed for them. PHP – then – MySQL. Now, I knew that this is an IT/Internet sort of thingy, but no more than that. Apparently these are all LAMP platforms, and the correct answer, as given at this point, was LINUX. Nope, not a Scooby. Water gave the Elves Yesugei. Actually, I knew him. He was father of Genghis Khan. Working on that principle my shout for a five pointer was Kublai Khan. The Elves didn’t see it. The second was, as I hoped, Genghis Khan. Now, Ogodai would have really mucked up my plans here, because although he was Genghis Khan’s first son and successor, he wasn’t Kublai’s Dad. Thankfully Tolui came next. After what the late Bill Maclaren might have called a wee bit of argy bargy captain James stuck to his guns with Kublai Khan for the point. This left the last set for the Nords. We saw a picture of a boar, then a hind, then a 9 headed hydra. That was the second of Heracles’ labours, which meant that all we needed was a lion, the first. Not for the first time this show a lack of detailed general knowledge denied the Nords the points. They knew he cleaned out the Augean stables, but that wasn’t the first task – neither was fetching Cerberus from the Underworld, which was the Elves’ answer. SO at least the Nords had narrowed the gap, but they still trailed by 7 – 10.

Round Three – Missing Vowels

Immediately after choosing the Lion wall the Nords could see a group of novels by Irvine Welsh – Filth – Glue – Crime and Porno. Which were not alternative names for four of the 7 Dwarves, apparently. Film genres – horror – romance – noir and musical fell almost immediately after, rather to the Nords’ surprise. A couple of seconds thought saw them identify Robbie Williams songs – Candy – Millennium – Rudebox and Strong, which left waves in the shape of Mexican – Radio – Heat and Shock. – Well, I have to say it, that was a flawless wall performance worth every one of the 10 points it earned them.

The Elves also started quickly, with Oswald – Goneril – Regan and the Duke of Cornwall from King Lear. Airports followed quickly with Robin Hood – John Lennon – Stansted and Prestwick. Now, what they didn’t see at first was a list of words whose first part is also the name of a Prime Minister. I could see HEATHrow – PITTsburgh – MAJORity – BROWNing – which left Victorian poets Tennyson – Arnold – Lear and Hopkins. So they isolated three of them, saw the connection, and then solved the last two lines. Not as quick as the Nords, but in its own way just as impressive. 10 points apiece, and they led 20 – 17.

Round Four – Missing Vowels

We kicked off with words containing four N’s. The round fell 2 – 1 to the Elves – however an incorrect buzz lost them one of those points. I found those really difficult myself and didn’t get any of them. Collectors and what they collect was a good old quizzer’s set, but neither side could take the upper hand, both getting two. A good old OC special set followed with sports people merged with music acts. There was just time for the Nords to take the first and that was that. A 23 – 21 win for the Elves saw them through, after a good game between two well matched teams.

Only Connect - Quarter Final

Orienteers v. Gamesmasters

Right then, quarter finals and sudden death. In the blue corner, the Orienteers, Paul Beecher, Simon Spiro and Sean Blanchflower, who won their place by defeating the Romantics, and the Gamesmasters. In the red corner . . . well it was the same Gamesmasters, whose only loss was to the Orienteers. Filip Drnovšek Zorko, James Robson and skipper Frederic Heath-Renn took out the Coders and the Bibliophiles to work their own way through. In their previous match the Orienteers had carved out a five point lead by the end of round three, and survived a Gamesmasters onslaught in the Missing Vowels to win 22-19. So basically, the Gmesmasters needed to be within 3 points by the end of the walls to be realistically in with a chance. Well, whoever won this show, one person would be a step closer to the coveted University Challenge – Only Connect double. Would it be Sean or Filip, though?

Round One – What’s The Connection?

The Orienteers kicked off, choosing Twisted Flax. Timothy Evans (for murder) – Michael Shields (for attempted murder) – Derek Bentley (for murder) – Alan Turing (for gross indecency). Now, I had gone for pardons from the second. Sean offered posthumous pardons. I would have got quite annoyed at the adjudication on this, had not Victoria offered them another go. They didn’t supply the answer she wanted – that these were just pardons, since they weren’t all posthumous. The Gams didn’t manage a bonus. Victoria then went on to make the unarguable point that while there was nothing wrong with the pardon being given to Alan Turing – why haven’t other people convicted of the same offence for the same reason been pardoned as well? For their own first set the Gams chose Lion, and received – ho-de – ho –de – ho. Well, that was the response to hi-di-hi-di – hi from Minnie the Moocher. This was followed by Stand Up stand up stand up – from the Isley Brothers/Housemartins Caravan of Love. So these were responses in songs – fillers – call them what you like. The Gams also took - Talkin bout my generation - then - Doo dah – doo dah. They gave an answer which satisfied Victoria, but the correct technical term apparently is call and response responses. Fair enough. Two Reeds gave the Teers - Rome, 64. Hmm , I needed more on this one. London 1212, though was a bit of a clue for me.  London Bridge was my grand final specialist subject, and I knew that the Bridge was gutted by fire a few times in its history, and 1212 was the first of these. New York 1776 certainly didn’t disprove my fire theory, and London 1666 proved it beyond reasonable doubt. The Teers had it from the last clue. The Gams then opted for Eye of Horus. Now, I take nothing away from the Gams for knowing bits of The Creation of Adam off two clues – in fact James had it off the first but they took a second to be certain, which was probably sensible. Yet this really was the plum set of the round – whoever picked this one had a serious chance of decent points compared to the other sets we’d seen so far.  Sean ignored the opportunity to enhance his choices by voicing the second vowel of Horned Viper, and received Silent. Compare this with the previous set. I defy anyone to have a reasonable chance of getting a five pointer off that word. Knock – out was the second, and it obviously wasn’t punch, because then knock out would be last clue, not second.  Reverse didn’t help me at all, and I don’t think it helped the Teers much either. Ducth, though was the clincher and all of these were auction types. Left just with water, the Gams knew they’d be getting the water set. This was maybe a bit of payback for the easy picture set. The songs were – Every Teardrop is a waterfall – The Boy In The Bubble – American Pie – I walk the line. They are all ways of representing data graphically – pie chart  - line graph etc. Fair, but tough, and no points to anyone. So for part one of the contest it was mission accomplished by the Gams, who led by 4 - 2

Round Two – What Comes Fourth?

The Teers’ luck changed in the second round. Taking Two Reeds, they got a set which really suited Scrabble fanatic Simon. DA(3 pts) He had the connecting principle worked out from the first, and when CH(7 pts) came up he worked out that what was needed was AX(9 pts). These were ascending possible scores of two letter words. Great answer. The Gams chose Twisted Flax, and received 9 = B. 12 = Tr didn’t help me get any closer to the answer 15 = Quadr saw both me and the Gams have a lightbulb moment, as this was now clearly numbers of noughts of billion – trillion etc. So the answer would be 18 = Quint. As I said, the Teers’ luck had changed, and they picked the plum in this round. Given a picture from the wonderful John Tenniel illustrations of Alice in Wonderland, with the March Hare highlighted, I do wonder if they were tempted to take a punt for five on a fictional June? As it was they took Pril O’Neil to be certain before plumping for a June bug, which was good enough. Grace Jones as May Day represented May. Drastic action was required, and Frederic took just that, opting for Hornèd Viper. Now, the word England in white on a graduated red background gave the Gams the connecting principle that all of these appear on the navigation bar on the BBC news website. The next word was UK, and the one after that World. To be fair we should all of us have seen that these have been reversed in order. The next word would have been Home. No excuses – a good set which I didn’t have but should have done. Now, I probably wouldn’t have gambled in the studio, but when Roger Black came up as the first clue of the Teers’ next set, I went for Kriss Akabusi. I remember watching that 1991 world men’s 4x400m relay. I was visting my Mum in London at the time. Derek Redmond was the second clue, which confirmed it and gave it to the Teers. The Gams really needed a helpful set for their last go of the round. I didn’t have it from St. Albans, 1980 – but I did from Bath and Wells, 1991. These were all the last few Archbishops of Canterbury – their previous diocese, and the year of their promotion. Which meant that Durham, 2013 would be the answer. Neither team managed both diocese and year, although they had both between them. The scores revealed just how dramatic the reversal of fortune both teams had undergone was, since the Teers now had a lead of 11 – 6.

Round Three – Connecting Walls

The Gams kicked off first, knowing that they really needed as close to a maximum as possible. They quickly separated a set of PG Wodehouse characters – Byng – Wooster – Spode and Glossop. English Civil War Battles followed – Brentford (yay, Brentford! Go the Bees!) – Edgehill – Naseby and Preston. The last two sets were rather more problematical. They could see porcelain makers, but three attempts to find them failed. Once the lines were resolved we saw Royal Crown Derby – Wedgewood – Doulton and Aynsley. This left Gallup – Worcester – Kellner and Luntz. I didn’t know, but leapt on Gallup and went for pollsters. That was the right answer. The Gams just didn’t see it, and thus ended with 5 points.

A good performance from the Teers, then, could just about wrap the game up. 20^th century ‘Angry Young Men’  British writers saw them find Braine – Amis – Wesker and Sillitoe early doors. Bushy – Osborne – Holyrood and Somerset were all ‘Houses’ that were royal residences at one time or another. Now, I could see a set of horse drawn vehicles, and words which can follow – fire -. In a case of lightning striking twice in the same place, the Teers too took three guesses and froze the wall. The horse drawn vehicles – Fly – Wain – Clarence and Gig – they didn’t know, and that surprised me a little. This left the fires – Brand – Arm – Fox and Fighter. This meant that they too scored 5. With the score at 16 – 11 the Gams had a hell of a gap to close, but at least it was possible still.

Round Four – Missing Vowels

Well, the first set, Greek cuisine, was one of those sets you could predict what was likely to come up. The Teers managed this taking 4, while the Gams lost a point for an early buzz. Game over? Well, not necessarily, since three consecutive numbers in ascending order went 3 – 1 to the Gams. Then a noun and a verb pronounced differently went 4 – 0 to the Gams. Time was running out, even though the momentum – and maybe even the Force- was with them. There was only time for one point apiece on Nobel Laureates in Physics. 22 – 18 was probably a fair reflection of the match, and the Teers deserved their win – hard luck to the Gams, but well played as well. 

Only Connect - Quarter Final

History Boys v. Linguists

Virginia Fassnidge, Gail La Carbonara and skipper Tom Fassnidge of the Linguists defeated the Chessmen in their first round contest – a great result that, and then went on to beat the Oxonians to qualify for this quarter final round. As for the History Boys, well, Rob Hannah, Craig element and Gareth Kingston also beat the Oxonians, this time in their first round match, then won qualification by beating the Felinophiles in their second. Myself, I thought that the History Boys were favourites – sorry guys – but then what do I know?

Round One  - What’s the Connection?

Kicking off the Hists picked Lion. We saw a bookie’s board with the odds for the Eastleigh By Election. Then we saw some ropes with knots in then a clock pointing to 3:20. Finally we saw some grains or cereals. Huh? I didn’t get it – the Hists didn’t get it and the Lings didn’t either. They are all things you can go against. Fair enough but let’s be honest, it certainly isn’t obvious even if you have all 4. The Lings found the music set. I had it about the same time that the Lings did, off the third clue – Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf. That was a song by a band named after a work of literature. The previous ones were by Belle and Sebastian, and the Fall, and the last would have been by The Divine Comedy. The Hists next opted for Eye of Horus. We had W: Andy Williams – O:Alice Cooper, in honour of Groucho Marx. Now – here is a fact. I knew that Alice Cooper paid to restore the O in the Hollywood sign. I did not know that he did it in honour of Groucho Marx, nor did I know that Andy Williams paid for the W – but I guessed. Rob knew it, and we both had it off 2. The Lings opted for water. We kicked off with Chilean Ski Resort. Nope. Guatemalan President. Nope. Opening in Spanish. Now I know a couple of words which give that sort of idea, but not enough to have gambled on it. However this was one of those where it became blindingly obvious with the last clue. MP for Enfield Southgate (1984 – 1997) was clearly Portillo. That was just enough for the Lings, who went for words starting PORT, but had it with the second bite of the cherry. Now, Gareth never lets me down, and this time was no different as he asked for Hornèd Viper. Susan , as the boys said, could have any number of connections – surely it wouldn’t be the Pevensey children from Narnia? No for Surajprasad was next. Actually that rang a bell. That is the S. in V.S.Naipaul. Staples, the next clue, is the S in C.S.Lewis. I guessed that Stearns would be the last – as in T S Eliot. I was right, but the Boys had already answered it off three before we saw it. Left with two reeds we kicked off with – Sol-Y Luna Y Cielo Proclaman – which I guess means something like The Sun The Moon and the Heavens declare. Significance I could only guess at. Nxa u fika e khaya uzojabula came next. Huh? Nie o Gott o guter verliesht didn’t help me. How I wish I could enumerate – Aha! It’s pi mnemonics in different languages. I just May I Have A Large Container of Coffee. Nobody saw it, so it ended 5 – 3 to the Hists. 

Round Two – What Comes Fourth?

The Hists kicked off with Lion, and the first clue was Jordan. Hmm – too many possibilities. The second was Midland, and the third, Spyker. So Jordan was obviously the formula 1 team, which I thought eventually mutated into Force India, so that was my answer. Gareth was on the right lines with Formula One, but went for BAR, which I believe began as Tyrell. The Lings didn’t chance their arms. Right then, Twisted Flax gave the Lings 2012/13: £8,105. Huh? 2013/14: £9440 meant nothing to me either. I think the Lings had the principle – Income Tax Allowances, but not the right answer. As it was the Hists took a bonus with 2015/16: £10,500. Gareth went for the viper again, and this time earned a picture set. Now first off we saw the flag of Panama. As the boys themselves noted there was more than one plausible sequence which could develop from this, so they took the next one. This one was Malta. Hmm – interesting. Was it countries with 3 a’s – then 2 a’s – then 1 then none? No – since the next flag was Taiwan. I didn’t notice the connection, and neither of the teams had it. But you have got PamaMA – MALTA – Taiwan. So Angola would have done nicely. Two Reeds gave the Lings Hogshead. Was this as simple as barrel sizes? Well, the second was barrel, so by my reckoning that was firkin for an easy 3 points. Yes, for the last was kilderkin. If they knew it. I could guarantee that if they didn’t, the Hists would. They didn’t know this old quiz chestnut – and frankly they were lucky that the Hists didn’t choose that set as I think they’d have had a five pointer, or a three pointer at least. As it was they took the windfall. Eye of Horus, then, gave the boys One Vine. Next we had a polo chukka. Next we had standard office hours – 9 to 5. I‘ll be honest, I didn’t get it any more than the Hists did. Yet the Lings knew that a vine is six seconds long. I did not know that. A chukka is seven minutes – office hours is 9 to 5 – 8 hours, and so their answer, a perfect one, was the reign of Lady Jane Grey. 9 days. They utterly redeemed themselves in my eyes with that answer. Water gave the Lings Makemake. I knew that is a dwarf planet, and so my nothing to lose five point answer was Ceres. Haumea told me I was right, and Pluto confirmed it. Now, the question was – did the Lings know the name of Ceres, for I was sure that the Hists would. The Lings didn’t know it. Now – my answer of Ceres would have had the point as it was the answer given – but the Hists went for Eris which is larger than Pluto. Point duly given. The Hists thus extended their lead to 8 – 4.

Round Three – The Connecting Walls

With ground to make up the Lings kicked off by quickly isolating a group of cabbagey vegetables – escarole – orache – kale and bok choy. There was a set of Somerset towns they went for next – Chard – Minehead – Wells – Yeovil. With plenty of time they spent a lot of time working out the next two lines. I could certainly see a set of MPs and former MPs sent to prison, and after one wrong attempt they got them – Stonehouse – Aitken – Huhne and Fields. (Fields? Gracie? W.C.?No, Terry)   This left Bart – Olenska – Archer – and Frome – None of us knew that they are all characters in Edith Wharton novels. Fair enough.

A good 7 points still left the Hists with a chance of stretching the lead. They worked methodically to  isolate the correct set of fictional bears – Iorek Byrnison – Paddington – Biffo – Baloo. Famous twins soon fell the same way – Grimes (Jedward) – McWhirter – Kray and Winklevoss (Claudia?) . The last two lines were isolated as sooty – ivory – red billed and glaucous. They zigged with terns when they should have zagged with gulls. Which left Bunyan – Herring – Wingrave and Budd – all from Benjamin Britten operas. 7 points, which meant they led by 15 – 11.

Round Four – Missing Vowels

I loved the first set – reasons why its fun to stay at the YMCA. These fell 3 – 1 to the Lings, halving the lead. The second set was a good old OC special set – quiz show and non quiz show – example Mastermind Your Language. 2 – 1 to the Hists. They Mean a Long Time fell 3 – 1 to the Lings. Hardly any time left, and a 1 point game. In fact , there was no time left – which meant that the Hists won with 19 to 18. A fair result, as I think they had shown superiority in two rounds to 1, with honours even in the walls. Well played Linguists though, never outclassed, and could even have forced a draw at the end. Good game. 

Only Connect - Series 10 - Match 20

Q.I.Elves v. Coders

Anne Miller, Andrew Hunter-Murray and James Harkin, the Q.I. Elves, lost out in their first match against the Bibliophiles, but saw off the Nightwatchmen in their second. The Coders, Richard Bradley, Zoe Cunningham and skipper David Simons, also lost their own first match, to the Gamesmasters, but saw off the Romantics last time out. By this stage of the tournament the calculations are easy ones. Win, and you’re in the next round, lost and you’re out.

Round One – What’s the Connection?

The Coders took first pick, and that was Lion. We saw the word Barcelona below a semi circle with three vertical segments – black – yellow and black. I didn’t know that. Then we saw Buenos Aires, with another semi circle, this time with two horizontal segments, yellow on black. I wasn’t getting it yet. Next was London with a black semi circle. Huh? Then New York with a yellow semi circle. Actually it was pretty obvious once you knew. The Cods failed to see it, but the Elves knew it was the colours of the taxi cabs within each of those cities. For their own set they opted for Two Reeds. We began with WASHTUB. Captain James said it looked like a word one, and I could only concur. Yet the next was Mockingbird, which added only confusion to me. Now, I have actually read about this – its basically the CIA’s alleged ‘mind control’ program with drugs and all manner of nasty stuff. PRISM, the last clue was also a clandestine operation of some sort – so that was my answer. PRISM gave it to the Elves for a point. For their second set the Cods picked Twisted Flax. LBQ didn’t help. News from Elsewhere though is a BBC blog. Hey – I wondered – would Life After Mastermind be in the set? 10 things we didn’t know last week – though – is not a blog – it is a feature in the BBC News websites online magazine section, as is 7 Days 7 Questions. SO I reckon I’d have gone wrong after 2 clues, but if I’d waited I’d have had it off 3. The Cods didn’t know, the Elves did. They tempted fate by asking for Horned Viper , for which they received Jimmy White. Hmm – umpteen times in World Snooker final but never won it? Bob Welch – ahhhh – Great Train robbers! I was a little disappointed in the elves that they didn’t get it from Bruce Reynolds, and needed the last clue – Ronnie Biggs. They started looking for things that weren’t there, and ignored the obvious, thus passing it over for a bonus to the Cods. They looked for something complicated too. Oh well. Back to the Cods, who went for eye of Horus. The first clue was – Shot Al Capone. I didn’t know that. Crowned Napoleon I gave a good clue though. I was pretty sure that Napoleon placed the crown upon his own head when making himself the Emperor of France. The next clue confirmed it, since Irving Berlin did once have to present himself with an Oscar. Didn’t know Al Capone shot himself, though. Aron Ralston, the last one, was the guy trapped they made a film about who had to amputate his own arm during a climbing accident, I think. The Cods didn’t have a Scooby, presenting a gilt edged bonus to the Elves. I don’t wish to be horrible, but I’m afraid that the Cods’ shortcomings in terms of their general knowledge were being rather cruelly exposed in this round. The Elves finished off the round with Water, and knew that they would be getting what they didn’t want, in the sound set. I didn’t know the first , but then we had The Ballad of Davy Crockett – The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde – The Ballad of Tom Jones – so I went for ballads. The first was from the Ballad of Reading Jail. No points to anyone for that, which meant the Elves led 4 – 0.

Round Two – What Comes Fourth?

The Cods began with Two reeds. First was a large green 5 on a yellow backfround. Second was a large black 4 on a white background. This was a lovely set. The 5 for me represent 5 times world cup winners Brazil. The 4 – 4 times winners Germany. So working on that principle I guessed that the last would be a black two on a light blue background for twice winners Uruguay. Which was proven wrong when the last clue was a yellow 2 on a green background. So I switched Sport to Rugby. Australia – England – South Africa – but what was the significance of the numbers? Australia won the world cup 1999 – England 2003 – South Africa 2007. OK. The nubers? Captains’ numbers? If so , then 2011 was won by New Zealand – black background, white number – and captain Richie McCaw wore 7. That was right, but nobody had it. Lion gave the Elves this – the word Matthat and a horizontal arrow, above the word Matthan and the same horizontal arrow. The next set was Heli and Jacob. Something began to stir here – the word ‘begat’ sprang irresistibly to mind. Being as nothing was riding on it I went for ancestors of Jesus. The Elves had the begat thing sorted too, but took the last clue – two Josephs. I have no idea why they went for Cain and Abel, the sons of Adam. The Cods knew that the answer would be Jesus and Jesus – they are the genealogies in two different accounts. Hurrah for the Coders – points on the board now and all to play for. Eye of Horus gave them Big 4. Hmm – railway companies? Possibility overload I’m afraid. Next was Big 5, then Big 6. The Cods confidently gave the answer of Big 5, but were wrong. The Elves didn’t know it’s Big 8. This was the evolution of the Big auditing firms. Take your word for it. Twisted Flax gave the Elves 4^th: English – then 3^rd: Afrikaans. Hmm. The last clue was 2^nd: Xhosa. I was tempted to hit and hope with 1^st: Zulu as the most widely spoken language in South Africa. I was really rather surprised that neither team fancied a shy at that one. Water gave the Cods 9^th: “run.” Right, well I’ve mentioned that I love Doctor Who before, and run was the first word spoken by Christopher Eccleston’s 9^th doctor. So what was Peter Capadli’s first word as the 12^th? Had to admit it – I didn’t know. The second clue - 10^th: “Hello. OK. New teeth. That’s weird.” – seemed to confirm my hypothesis. The Cods had it though, and knew that his first spoken words were about new kidneys. Great shout which put them right back in the game. Left with the viper, the Elves were given pictures of Massachussetts – Manitoba, then MC Hammer. SO they needed anything MD – eg a doctor. That was enough to ensure that at the end of the round the scores were 6 – 4 to the Elves.

Round Three – The Connecting Walls

Going first the Elves opted for Lion. Quickly and methodically they separated a set of wheels – prayer – colour – water and hamster. Now, I could see a set of novels by my 19^th century fave, Thackeray. They ain’t all that well known though. Tintagel – Launceston – Trematon and Restormel – a set of Cornish castles fell next. There was also a set of actors from The Darling Buds of May which they hadn’t yet seen. They did then see them, and eventually split up Zeta-Jones – Ferris – Jason and Franks, leaving Vanity Fair (a strong candidate for my favourite novel of all time) – Pendennis – Catherine and The Newcomes (also a wonderful read). Unfortunately they went for Trollope rather than Thackeray. 7 points then.

The Cods took Water. Very quickly I noticed Treasure Island characters – parts of a clock – and parts of a church. After some faffing about and barking up trees they isolated the clock part s- hand – face – escapement and pendulum. Soon after they took out Rood – altar – apse and chancel. The Treasure Island characters were Pew – Silver – Trelawney and Hawkins. With Trelawney they were thinking of Sybil from Harry Potter, and were a while latching onto Treasure Island. Even then they didn’t get them. The last line which they didn’t see at all were Sweet – Berkeley – Service and Burton-Hill. I didn’t know they all present on Radio three. Also they went for professors rather than Treasure Island, and so only got 4. This meant a 13 – 8 lead to the Elves.

Round Four – Missing Vowels

The first set were all moons, and went 2 – 0 to the Elves, with the Cods losing 1. Conversely, Suns went 3 – 1 to the Cods. Bruce Forsyth Catchphrases went 2 – 1 to the Elves, and that was it. The final score was 18 -11, and I have to say that was a fair reflection of the relative strengths of the teams in this show. The Elves showed their own areas of weaknesses, and I dare say they will have to go up a gear or two if they can to win their next match. But they were clearly the better general knowledge team in this game, and so often that makes the difference.Well done. 

Only Connect - Series 10 - Match 19

Bibliophiles v. Gamesmasters

The Bibliophiles, Richard Clay, Vince Milner, and Mike Hart, got off to a good start by beating the Q I Elves first time out. However in a battle of the Philes they lost narrowly to the Nordiphiles in their last match. Filip Drnovšek Zorko, James Robson and skipper Frederic Heath-Renn, the Gamesmasters also comfortably won their first match when they beat the Coders, but lost a good match against the Orienteers last time out. The stakes? On the one hand a place in the quarters, and on the other, bus fare home. Pre match form suggested that the Gamesmasters would be better on the vowels, and so the Bibliophiles needed to get a cushion by the end of round three.

Round One – What’s the Connection?

Captain Frederic of the Gams immediately opted for Hornèd Viper. Now, I liked the picture set this revealed. I didn’t notice, but it revealed Roy Liechtenstein’s Whaam! – but without the exclamation mark. Next we saw Messrs Ridgely and Michael – without the exclamation mark. That was a pair crying out for the wrong answer to be given. Thankfully the Gams resisted the temptation, and saw a picture of Allo Allo. At last it became clear with a road sign saying Westward Ho – you see how it works. Yes, only one point, but a point which might easily have been lost had they dived right in. Lion brought the Bibs OAT. Nope, me neither. JGB – same. – Bund – Huh? The last clue, Gilt, made it clear these were government bonds, and that was the answer given by the Bibs. Both teams were playing tricky sets sensibly. The Gams picked eye of Horus, walking straight into the music set. I didn’t get the first two, but I recognized Cinderella Rockerfella on the third. Cinderella was my answer, confirmed when the last was Prince Charming by Adam and the Ants. Ridicule is nothing to be scared of. Neither team got it. Twisted Flax gave the Bibs Queen Elizabeth II. Possibility overload there. Romeo Beckham didn’t make anything clearer. Neither did Mark and Carol Thatcher. The fourth clue, Macduff, made it obvious, just so long as you know the play “Macbeth”. The big thing about Macduff is that he was born by caesarian – it is important to the plot. Now, I never knew that the Queen or the others were, but what else could it be? The Bibs went for the same as me, and we were both right. The Gams took Two Reeds, and started with Eraser (28s). Both the Gams and I considered it was something to do with films, but needed the second – Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (66s). I guessed at this point it was the relatively prosaic – this was the amount that the censors had cut from the named films. The Gams were barking up the swordfight tree at this point, but were sensible enough to take the third clue – Rambo III (65s), and Last Tango in Paris (10s). This changed their minds, but unfortunately they went for the length of screen kisses. A bonus for the Bibs was duly taken. Now, I took a five pointer with the water set. Kings of the Ptolemaic Dynasty was enough of a clue. You see all of the kings of the dynasty were called Ptolemy ( while all of the queens, I think, were Cleopatra). So they all had the same name was my answer. It was proven right when the next clues were Edward Heath’s Yachts – (Morning Cloud) – George Foreman’s Sons (George) – Philosophy Dept. of Woollamoloo Uni (Bruce) That was enough for a point, but had they had the courage of their convictions they might have had at least 2. Nonetheless they led by 4 – 1.

Round Two – What Comes Fourth?

The Gams picked Water to start this time. We saw a picture which I’m sorry to say I didn’t recognize as Julian Lennon. The second was Paul McCartney’s son James – and apart from the hair you could see a resemblance (although I didn’t). Finally Dhani Harrison. The Gams actually said that James McCartney looked like Sir Paul, but didn’t latch onto the set. Neither team saw it – required was Zak Starkey, Ringo’s son, although I’d like to think they would also have accepted Jason Starkey.  Captain Mike of the Bibs also voiced Hornèd Viper in the time honourèd fashion. Now, the first clue gave a real opportunity for a five pointer. After – 4^th then 6^th: The Silver Chair - a bit of thought I gave “1^st then 2^nd: The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe” As you can guess this is all to do with the Chronicles of Narnia. The Silver Chair was 4^th to be published, but actually 6^th in the order of events of the story. This is because two other novels were added – The Magician’s Nephew, and The Horse and His Boy, which fit into the series earlier than The Silver Chair. However, only the former goes before The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe. Phew – got it? The Bibs did for a 3 pointer. Now, Lion gave the Gams Bafta Awards to start. When they were given The Exeter Levels , then Mississippi, they figured out that it’s the words, and the fact that we have 4 As, then 4Es, and so on. So they offered any word with 4 O’s – having toyed with giving Boogaloo as an example. The Bibs opted for Twisted Flax, and this gave the innovative Music sequence. We had Sir Tom Jones singing “The Green Green Grass of Home”, then something which had blue in it. Then Orange Crush by REM. So – working on ROYGBIV we would have a song with red in the title – red sails in the sunset for example. Now, like Filip of the Gams, I was onto the next one from the first clue – Rod Laver. The court on which the Australian Open final is played is named after Rod Laver. SO working forwards through the year, the Arthur Ashe court would be the answer IF this was the sequence. The Gams took the second – Philippe Chartrier – to be certain, and then gave the answer for a 3 pointer. There was a potential three pointer in the last set for the Bibs too. Miss Harris didn’t help, but Mrs. Beale certainly did. – Mrs Butcher I answered, knowing that these were successive names of Pat from Eastenders. The Bibs obviously knew it was Eastenders, but not the right character. No bonus to the Gams either. Nonetheless the Gams finished the round having knocked a point off the Bibs’ lead, which stood at 9 – 6.

Round Three – The Connecting Walls

The Bibs picked the Lion Wall. They’d the cushion of three points already, but would need a good wall performance to keep it, or even better, to increase it. That’s exactly what they produced. Almost immediately they isolated the latin dances – Sarabande – Bolero – Flamenco – Fandango.The DEA – ATF – CIA and IRS – all US government agencies followed almost immediately afterwards. They discussed the others for all of 30 seconds, and then proceeded to isolate a set of sandwiches – BLT – Sloopy Joe – Pan Bagnat – PBJ. This left the last line of Corrina – Jamon – Reuben – Liar. Double each of those and you get the names of films. Exemplary demonstration of how it’s done chaps – 10 points gained without braking sweat.

The Gams needed an equally good performance on the water wall just to keep the gap at manageable proportions. Some nifty work very quickly separated the D Day beaches – Gold – Utah – Juno – Omaha. They could see a set of Tarot suits, but left them for a moment. Carpet – Roundabout – 8 Ball and Lantern they knew co0uld all be preceded by the word Magic. This left just the tarot suits, and the other line. They deliberated for a bit, then decided the last line would be space probes. Quite right. Finally happy the separated the tarot suits – wand – sword – cup – pentacle, which left the probes – Gallileo – Giotto – Dawn and Rosetta. 10 points. This meant that we had a 19 – 16 game, going into the vowels.

Round Four – Missing Vowels

The first category was Highs and Lows. The Bibs buzzed incorrectly on the first, and the gap was down to 2. The Gams didn’t know the answer, and buzzed too early on the next. The Bibs did know, and so increased the lead to 4. They took one more and going into Neologisms in “Jabberwocky” they were sitting pretty on 20 – 15. However the Gams took a full house of 4 on this set, and the gap was down to 1. Two football teams from the same city saw the Gams equal the score, take a one point lead , then a two point lead by the end of the round. 7 unanswered points, and that is why the Bibs needed a cushion. Very hard lines on the Bibliophiles, but well played Gamesmasters – good luck in the quarter finals. 

Only Connect - Match 18

Linguists v. Oxonians

Virginia Fassnidge, Gail La Carbonara and skipper Tom Fassnidge of the Linguists defeated the Chessmen in their first round contest. Well, the Shessmen have prospered since then, while the Linguists lost to the Gallifreyans in their first qualification match. Second time lucky, then. Blocking the route to the semi were John Jenkins, Ian Hughson, and captain Justin Floyd of the Oxonians. They had lost first time out to our own History Boys, but knocked out the Politicos while both were imbibing in the last chance saloon. So who to win, then? I didn’t know – you pays yer money and takes yer choice. Let’s get on with it then.

Round One – What’s The Connection?

Having won the toss the Oxos elected to put the Lings in first. Eye of Horus brought us a picture set. After three photos, the only one of which I was sure being the second, of Marilyn Monroe, they went for American presidents, which was not correct. The last picture showed Clint Eastwood . They ahd it from this that all of them were people with no name – Marilyn Monroe from the Seven Year Itch – Marwood – who is never actually called that in the (brilliant) Withnail and I. Sorry folks – just didn’t see it myself. The Oxos looked to build on their lead with by voicing Hornèd Viper – well done. This brought the music set. We heard Bohemian Rhapsody – then what turned out to be from Tosca – then Delilah. I had it at this stage – they are all confessions of murder. The last was I shot the Sheriff. The Oxos saw it not, and so the bonus went to the Lings. All square. The Lings took on water, and began with £100m banknote. Hmm – a couple of ideas there, but nothing confirmed. Mahler’s symphony number 1 followed, then a child of Uranus and Gaia. Well their children were the Titans, which is what I decided to plump for. The last one – the Solar System’s second largest moon provided confirmation that this was indeed the correct tree under which to bark. The Lings had suspected it after 3 clues and took it off four. Twisted Flax gave the Oxos Livonia (Latvia and Estonia) – Transistor (radio) – and I was struggling here – Bums on seats (audience) – and still struggling – Finally Wheels – car. I didn’t see it, neither did the Oxos, but the lIngs informed us this is synecdoche. For example – wheels are actually part of a car – but they can also be used as a word for the whole car. Again, no excuses – just didn’t see it. Lion gave the Lings – The Toothache – huh? – The Unco Guid – which as a good part Scot I know is a Burns poem – so that was my answer. The Deil proved it – and I predicted Tam O Shanter might be the last. Actually it was a haggis – so these were actually all things that Burns addressed poems to. Right at the death Virginia put it on the table and secured a point. So the Oxos finished the round with Two reeds, and kicked off with Muscoidea. Well – Musca suggested some kind of flies, but I wanted more to go on. Uncomplimentary didn’t help. Unproprietary followed – and Ian came up with the brilliant shout that each of these words have all 5 vowels in reverse order. Brilliant. That really helped, since it meant that the Oxos only trailed by 1 – 3 to the Lings’ 4.

Round Two – What Comes Fourth?

Tom of the Lings courted disaster by asking for Horned Viper. IV:1830 immediately suggested King William IV who acceded to the throne in 1830. So I threw caution to the wind and went for I: 1066. III: 1689 said five points to me. It was enough for the Lings to take 3 points as well. The Oxos picked twisted flax, and we saw a picture of a spade. Next we saw 2 hearts. So 4 diamonds? No, not if it’s Bridge, so 4 clubs then . That was my 3 point guess. 3 images of Neil Diamond suggested I was looking good, and brought the Oxos two points. Two Reeds was the next Lings pick. We began with arMs. Hmm – not a Scooby. Then the Lings helped me out by pointing out that the capital M could suggest it is an anagram of Mars. They were dead right since the next was hEart. So some anagram of Mercury with a capital M in the middle. I take no points for that, since I had no idea until they pointed it out. Great shout, easily worth three points. Lion gave the Oxos 4: Move cursor to address bar. Would this be the function keys on a computer keyboard? In which case what would either F1 or F7 be? The second clue said we were going down to 1, since it was 3: Search for files or folders. So dredging my memory I went for F1 – Help, which is exactly what the boys went for, being as it was the right answer. Yay. Lings went for water. We started with John Hannett: USDAW. OK, so John Hannett is the Union’s general secretary. Now, it was a guess to suggest that USDAW might be the UKs 4^th largest TU, but if it was, then Unite is the biggest, and Len McCluskey is the Gen Sec. 5 points for me? Paul Kenny GMB came next. Dave Prentis Unison third, and I was already counting the points. Now, up to this point the Lings had shown some good knowledge, but there really isn’t an excuse for not at least knowing that Unite is the UK’s biggest union. The Oxos made no mistake with it. They were left with Eye of Horus and the dreaded musical sequences. Actually this was a terrifically well thought out sequence. We had Franks Sinatra singing about Spring, then Summer, then Autumn. The Oxos didn’t get it, but the Lings took a bonus. Which meant that the score at the end of the round was 11 – 9 to the Lings.

Round Three – The Connecting Walls

The Oxos had the choice and they opted for Water. I could see a set of Countdown presenters. So could the Oxos as Dent, Stelling – Vorderman and Lynam fell into place quickly. I could also see a group of women played by men – Edna Everage and Old Mother Riley for example. Again, the Oxos took them out quickly, adding Fritton and Savage to complete the line. With plenty of time left to untangle the last two lines and indeed they did. Cowl – Hewer – Kitchen and Nightmare they knew all contined the names of female animals, which left Beer – Rose – Market and Zen. They can all precede Garden said captain Justin, and it was maximum points thank you very much, Victoria.

The Lion then remained for the Lings, who needed a full house to preserve their lead. Now, I fancied there was a set of BBC Newsround presenters there. Never mind that – the Lings took out Goulash  - Slumgullion – Daube – and Tagine – a group of stews. They then took out the Newsrounders – Guru-Murthy – Hedayat – Mzimba and Morris. They worked out that there was a set of words with birds in them, which meant they just needed to work out what was left before untangling them. They took them out – with wrench – probing – craven and crowded being the birds. This left Bowler – Doctor – Vector and Cycle which all follow spin. Once again a full house. So this meant that going into the lst round it was an exciting 21 – 19 to the Lings.

Round Four – Missing Vowels

The first set was Phrases heard on Only Connect. 2:1 to the Oxos – and the score stood at 22 – 21. Flavours of crisps. 2:2 – and 24 – 23 to the Lings. Former names of African Countries went 2 apiece, but crucially the Oxos lost a point for an incorrect buzz as well. 26 – 24.Starring David Jason gave just enough time for 1, and it fell to the Lings. So the final score was 27 – 24. What a good game. Very well played both, and congratulations to the Linguists.