Saturday, 12 September 2026

A Case of the Pot and the Kettle

It was my turn to be question master in the club last Thursday. It has been an incredibly stressful week – I won’t go into details – and I did consider whether I needed to cry off. I had several offers to do the quiz for me under the circumstances. But I made the decision to do it.

31 years ago I introduced the concept of the connections question to the quiz, having stolen the idea from an open quiz I’d attended in Neath. I tend to use them whenever I do a quiz at the Rugby Club – between 3 and five seemingly unconnected questions in a round, and the teams have to decide what connects the answers. Now in the last round I always do a nine part connection. When I was making the quiz, I found that the lyrics of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” are a treasure trove of question sources. So much so that not only did I use them in a nine part connection for the last round but I also used them for a nine part connection for round four, the last before the half time break.

Now, as the papers were being handed back after the last round, one of the players made quite an audible comment that this was an unfair connection. Now, in one way, I can kind of see where he was coming from. After all, if nobody in your team knew the song very well, then not only were you going to be unable to answer one connection, you were going to be unable to answer two. But I couldn’t take the criticism quite as philosophically as that because of the person making the criticism. It was none other than Captain Slapdash. I called out to him that I felt that this was a case of the pot calling the kettle black and left it at that.

You see, the good Captain will persist in using his own connections questions. And the problem is that although capable of coming up with the occasional connection so good that I wish that I’d come up with it myself, his general slapdashery means that a lot of his connections are pretty poor, and for want of a better word – cheats. I’ll try my best to explain that.

I don’t know if everybody works this way, but the way I do it is to come up with what I think is a good idea for a connection. Then I have to find, or improvise questions that have answers that fit the connection. If I cannot quite make at least three that perfectly fit the connection, then I bin it. The captain doesn’t work like that. So many of his connections use answers that might be close to the connection, but don’t actually work. For example, the Captain often uses connections of US state Capitals. One time one of the questions leading there was – which actress won the Best Actress Oscar for her role in The Queen? Who of course was HELEN Mirren. Well, Captain, there ain’t no US Capital called Helen. Or Mirren for that matter. Well, as far as the Captain was concerned Helen is close enough to HELENA, and what the hell, he couldn’t be arsed to create a question about, say, Helena Bonham Carter , which actually would have worked. Or the time that he got mixed up between Thomas the Tank Engine and Ivor the Engine that I’ve written about several times before. I mean I do feel that if you've made a quiz at the club you have more right to criticise than someone who has never tried, so I give the Captain that much, but it just rankled with me that someone who has perpetrated more bad connection sets at the club than the rest of us put together would criticise mine. 

So hopefully you can understand why I was feeling a little prickly about someone with his track record criticising my connections. Never mind.

No comments: