It’s a little premature to be talking about New Year’s resolutions isn’t it ? Still, its probably not a bad time, in this lull before the Christmas storm to take a look at my quiz resolutions from last year, so that I, you and Santa can see whether I have been a good boy, or whether I am going to be palmed off with a sack of coal on the big day again. So, here they were -
*I resolve to try to be more patient with Little Dennis when he doesn't hear the answers I give him to the questions in the quiz in the Rugby Club. Its not his fault he's deaf. Its our fault for letting him be scribe.
Well, this is a little bit of an easy one, since I did only say that I would TRY to be more patient with Dennis. And to be fair to him, he has been far more willing to relinquish the pen when he just can’t hear the answer you’ve given him – even though all the other teams and half the houses in the same street can.
Verdict – nice – r
* I resolve to try to not greet every announcement of the handicaps in the Newport Quiz with the words "For Christ's Sake !"
Umm – well – since I returned to the Newport Quiz after our win in the Welsh CIU final, I have tried at least to be a bit more humourous about it - and I now say “I’ll get me coat” or words to that effect. Can’t say much more as I quit going to the quiz from February to May last year just because I couldn’t stand the handicaps.
Verdict - naughty
* I resolve to try to stop giving guest question masters a hard time in the rugby club. Even when they are totally incompetent.
Again, semantics allows me to win the day. I HAVE been nicer in the rugby club – just maybe not in other places. Well – not ‘maybe’ at all. Verdict – probably a score draw.
* I resolve to try to stop telling two teams off for using their wap phones to find answers whenever I'm the question master in the rugby club. They never win anyway.
Now here I can say hand on heart that I have not told anyone off for using their wap phone all year – cowardly though it probably is of me. Verdict – nice.
* I resolve to stop slagging off Redtooth Quizzes. Just so long as I don't have to play in them any more.
I haven’t played in a Redtooth Quiz, all year, and therefore I have had no cause, nor for that matter opportunity, to slag them off. Verdict – nice.
* I resolve to stop saying that other teams must have cheated when they beat us. Even when they obviously have.
I have absolutely , completely and utterly failed to keep this resolution.
Verdict – nasty – in fact, positively evil.
* I resolve to try to stop whinging about the fact that my school's Governing Body and the Local Education Authority couldn't be bothered to even send me a letter of congratulation over winning Mastermind.
Alright, maybe I have mentioned it once or twice, but compared to my mega whinging about it last year, that still puts me in credit. Verdict – nice-ish.
* I resolve to take responsibility for applying to get on another show, and not wait for one of my mates to try to put a team in.
Alright, so 12 Yard productions did actually ask me to apply for Are You An Egghead and its not something I did off my own bat. However, the strict lettering of the resolution is that I would take responsibility for applying to get on another show – and I did just that with Brain of Britain. OK, so its on radio 4, but its still a show.
Verdict – very nice indeed.
So with only two utter failures, and one possible failure, that’s rather better than a 50% success rate. So Santa, can we please forget the anthracite this year ? Thanks.