What is so wrong about showing it matters to you?

Right, let me state here and now that this is not a criticism of Oscar Powell, of the Peterhouse team who won Monday evening’s UC semi-final. No, it’s simply that something a friend said to me about the show, and Mr. Powell in particular, that raised an interesting discussion.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve been watching the current series. I have, even though I haven’t been writing about it. I think it’s fair to say that there’s been a certain amount of comment about Oscar Powell every time that Peterhouse have played. No doubt about it, Mr. Powell is a very good UC player. I doubt, somehow, that he is a brilliant poker player. I say this – tongue in cheek and no offence intended – because he does tend to give away how he is feeling, particularly every time he, or one of his team mates, gives a wrong answer to a starter. For a UC contestant he is very expressive, with both facial expressions and gestures.

Personally I don’t have the least problem with this. In fact, let me be honest, I like the fact that, while the game is going on, it matters so much to him. And so, it seems do quite a large number of viewers, judging by Twitter comments, for example. But there is also a body of opinion – my quiz mate included – who take exception to it. There’s a sizeable body of opinion which says that it’s wrong to react like this. I can’t say for certain, but I can imagine this goes back to the outmoded concept of the effortless amateur, the idea that winning is nothing, but winning without overly exerting oneself, and without showing any emotional response to it, is everything. The idea to show that one is emotionally involved in the contest, to show that winning matters to you, is somehow vulgar and to be frowned upon and criticized.

I do have an ulterior motive in bringing this subject up. You see, I could often be accused of wearing my heart on my sleeve when I’m quizzing. I honestly can’t really help it. I know that whether I win or lose a pub quiz, or a league match isn’t important. I do know that. But just because something isn’t important does not mean that it doesn’t matter. I’m afraid that I subscribe to the oft-quoted Vince Lombardi view – If winning isn’t important, why do they bother keeping score? – Well, quite. If I come back to my own example, I do try to stop myself from saying ’Yeessss!’ or ‘Good answer David!’ on the occasions when I do dredge up an answer which I didn’t know that I knew – but they do come out from time to time, and there’s no point me trying to say that they don’t.

Now, this is all directed at myself. I’m honestly not trying to wind up anybody in another team, but still some people make no attempt to hide the fact that they find it irritating. I’m not saying that they should attempt to hide it either – but I do find the attitude difficult to understand. I mean, if I was taunting the other team, calling them dumb, or their answers stupid, then yes, this would be absolutely out of order. If I crowed over beating another team, or taunted them after the match, then yes, this would be absolutely out of order. But showing a little pleasure in playing well? Getting yourself totally involved in a match/quiz? Where’s the problem?

I’ll give you another case in point. We were playing in a league match before Christmas, away. Never mind the opposition, no names, no pack drill. Now, I’ve learned through bitter experience that anything said in passing to that particular team during the quiz will not be received well – for example, I don’t say anything like ‘good answer’ to them because they seem to think I’m being sarcastic. I’m not. So, I had tried very hard to keep my mouth shut apart from answers, throughout the quiz. Then on one question I blurted out the answer before the question master had finished. It was a close match, and I was getting very involved in it. The question master reacted as if I’d slapped him in the face. He called me a smartarse – and this wasn’t said as a bit of banter either.  Thankfully I shan’t be playing in a match with him as question master again until next season.

If you’re not demonstrative, then that’s fine. But if you are, take it from me, there’s nothing wrong about showing enjoyment in a good personal performance. I don’t deliberately go out of my way to antagonize other people, but there comes a point where you have to say, well, look, if you think showing a little enjoyment and engagement is wrong, then it’s your problem, not mine. So, Oscar, if by any chance you’re reading this, good luck in the final, and you carry on reacting, my friend. Stuff the begrudgers. 

University Challenge : Round One: Heat 14

St. John’s , Oxford v. Bristol

JP kicked off by reminding us that the target for both teams to at least get into the repechage round was 130. Hoping to win and avoid that route were St. John’s represented by Alex Harries, Charlie Clegg, Dan Sowood and skipper Angus Russell. Hoping to block their path were Bristol, represented by Vanessa Lynn, Robert Hayman, Benjamin Crawshaw and captain Andy Saxon.

The first question asked about Dutch Palaces, and Charlie Clegg won the buzzer race to give us the answer of The Hague. Dungeons and dragons in literature brought them two bonuses. Charlie Clegg buzzed in a little too early for the second, which gave us a quote from a French composer, but even though they were given the fact that the composer had composed The Pearl Fishers, captain Andy Saxon of Bristol couldn’t dig up Bizet to capitalize. Charlie Clegg, quite rightly not daunted by his previous misfire was first in to offer that part of Austen’s Persuasion is set in Lyme Regis. A very good full house on the Yi Dynasty of Korea followed. Various definitions of hot-spot allowed Vanessa Lynn to open Bristol’s account. 2 bonuses on Carl Jung followed – I surprised myself with a full house on that set. Already we had reached the first picture starter. This one revealed a word cloud taken from a book of the King James Bible. The prominence of the names Abraham and Jacob made it fairly clear we were dealing with the Book of Genesis, and theology student Charlie Clegg was understandably first out of the starting blocks for that one. More of the same followed, and a second full house was duly taken. I’ll be honest, as soon as JP said ‘15^th century thesis’ I offered ‘The Prince’, but would have waited had I been in the studio, and maybe would have been beaten to the buzzer by Alex Harries, who was first in. September 3^rd. 2 bonuses took their score to 85, which gave them a 65 point lead over Bristol at the 10 minute mark. They were good value for it too.

Vanessa Lynn recognized the opening of Sylvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar”. I may have said this before, but Sylvia Plath always reminds me of sitting in 20^th century poetry seminars, and every time that Ted Hughes’ name was mentioned a chorus of voices would intone ‘the wife murderer!’. Bit harsh, that. Novels of the 1740s brought them 10 more points – they were fine on Richardson and Fielding, but floundered on Smollett. Dan Sowood scored his first starter for St. John’s, recognising a definition of menthol. Like St. John’s the only bonus on Joe Sacco that I could answer was about the Battle of the Somme. Captain Angus Russell took his first starter, recognizing that JP was describing Greater Manchester. This now meant that all 4 of St. John’s had correctly answered at least one starter each. Mark of a useful team, that. One bonus was taken on scientific instruments. Nobody recognized the work of Tchaikovsky for the music starter – me neither. Alex Harries took a good starter on the word fulminate. The music bonuses were all other pieces which were savaged by the critic Hanslick, otherwise known as the critic Who? St. John’s took one. It’s worth noting that St. John’s had already reached the magic number of 130. Bristol, though, were going to need to go like the clappers to give themselves a chance of getting there. A superb UC special starter asked the teams to combine two names to come up with Franz Ferdinand – lovely bit of work that – and Charlie Clegg, pick of the contest’s buzzers by some distance, was first in with the answer. 2 points on seas of the Pacific Ocean followed. Andy Saxon managed to beat the might of St. John’s to the buzzer to answer that endocrinology deals with glands. Sadly embryology yielded them no further points. This meant that the score at the 20 minute mark stood at 150 – 50. The match was over as the result was already sorted. How many points could St. John’s score, and how close could Bristol get to the repechage remained the only real questions to be answered.

I wouldn’t claim to be an expert on paintings, but there was something about the second picture starter that screamed out Caravaggio. Charlie Clegg thought so too, but he did hesitate, and earned a wigging from JP for his pains. The painting showed Judith beheading Holofernes, and three more paintings of the same subject followed. A full house was duly taken. Robert Hay man knew that any questions with the words Spanish – Greek and painter in it will probably be looking for the answer El Greco – and he was right. 2 bonuses on the novel Venus in Furs took them to 70 points. None of us knew enough about crystal lattices to take the next starter. Andy Saxon knew about some of ‘lands’ in Antarctica to take the next starter, and Bristol were having their best passage of the competition. Two bonuses on the Gulf of Guinea took them to 90 points, and the cusp of the respectability represented by a triple figure score. That was achieved with the next starter, as Vanessa Lynn knew various thingummybobs which respond to the sense of touch. This was followed by a full house on human anatomy. Fair play to Bristol, when they did get a starter they weren’t doing too badly with the bonuses. The old chestnut Baron Bannside went to Angus Russell, who knew it was Ian Paisley. A full house on rulers brought St. John’s double century up. When I hear an astronomy question and the words German mathematician are included I always go for Kepler. That’s what Charlie Clegg did, and rightly so. 2 bonuses on latin abbreviations followed. A good buzz from Alex Harries saw him confirm that 22,000 use British Sign Language as their first language according to the most recent census. They took just the one bonus on the five pillars of Islam. Alex Harries knew that a Viscount comes in precedence above a Baron. Saints and their symbols added another 10 points to their total. Nobody knew that there’s a palace or something called Cuba on Sicily. Robert Hayman knew that the Deity Hapi was the personification of the annual inundation of the Nile. There wasn’t time to complete a set of bonuses on Administrative regions of European countries, which was a bit of a shame for Bristol, as they finished close to a repechage slot with 125. Had they found their buzzer fingers a little more quickly they might even have made it. Take nothing away from St. John’s though – they look a good outfit, and could go well in the rest of the series.

Jeremy Paxman Watch

A wee dram of the pedantic early doors in this show when JP took Charlie Clegg’s ‘Lyme’ and made it clear he was waiting for more. Well, what else could it be, Jez? Light? Cordial?!

Interesting Fact That I Didn’t Already Know Of The Week

The Kanchatka Peninsula is bordered by the Sea of Okhotsk

University Challenge: Round One: Match 13

Queen Mary London v. Nuffield, Oxford

QML were represented by our first all female team of this series, Kate Lynes, Stephanie Howard-Smith, Yolanda Lovelady and captain Verity Williams. Nuffield, making what JP said was their debut in UC, were represented by Spencer Smith, Alexander Sayer Gard-Murray, Daniel Kaliski and Mathias Ormestad Frendem.

The first question asked for the US Sitcom title which features in the name of a place of worship for Quakers, and it was Kate Lynes who answered first with Friends. Two bonuses on fictional farms followed. Yolanda Lovelady recognized a quote from the late Maya Angelou for the next starter. This time the bonuses were on the number 8 , and they took a full house. Believe it or not I heard the words X-Ray Diffraction technology and I said ‘Rosalind Franklin” – it was a little while before Daniel Kaliski buzzed in with the same correct answer. Once I’d finished the lap around the sofa Nuffield managed one bonus on precipitation. The next starter was a UC special picture starter where we saw the title of a book written in international phonetic alphabet. It was Treasure Island, which Mathias Ormestad Frendem was the first to work out. This won a set of more of the same, and took a full set. Mr. Gard-Murray knew that the word legend comes from a gerundive of the latin for – to read. Contemporary works based on a classical poem brought them two correct answers. All of which meant that after a bright and breezy opening in which both teams showed some useful buzzer work , Nuffield led 60 – 45.

Stephanie Howard-Smith worked out that it is Henry VII whose tomb is topped with an effigy by Torrigiani. A full house of bonuses on events of the Noughties put Queen Mary back on top. Kate Lynes won the buzzer race to say that you can grow bacterial cultures in a petri dish. Two bonuses on organic chemistry followed, and you have to say that Queen Mary were looking a very useful outfit at this stage. Now, for the music starter we heard the song Lilac Wine. I’ve only ever heard Elkie Brooks’ version, but one of my very favourite singers of all time is Nina Simone, and I was sure it was her singing this one. So it was. Nobody else recognized her. A very long winded starter next eventually contained the words Pablo Picasso – and – artistic style – which seemed to beg the answer Cubism. Mr. Gard-Murray obviously thought so, and he earned the music bonuses for saying it. Each one was one of the first tracks recorded in a particular format, and Nuffield took one of them. Now, I’ll bet that I wasn’t the only one who shouted “Smithsonian!” at the telly when JP mentioned the words “Bequest. . . English mineralogist . .. “ but Mr. Gard-Murray went for the Royal Society, which allowed Stephanie Howard-Smith in with the correct answer for Queen Mary. Two bonuses on Bertold Brecht took them to 110. It was Nuffield’s best buzzer, Alexander Gard-Murray who buzzed in first to say that an allen key has a hexagonal cross section. Only one bonus of a gettable set on people born in the Polish city of Lodz was taken. So right on the cusp of the 20 minute mark the score was 110 to 85, but it still looked like either side could win.

Mathias Ormestad Frendem recognized the work of Van Gogh for the second picture starter. Shown three other paintings of the outskirts of Paris Nuffield took a good full set to draw level with Queen Mary. Verity Williams buzzed too early and offered fructose for the next starter, when Pectin was required, as duly supplied by Alexander Gard-Murray. They took two on the age of exploration, but received a hard but fair adjudication on the last. Asked for the name given to the westernmost part of Africa, they were kind of right with Green Cape, but JP had wanted the proper name Cabo Verde, so no cigar there. A cracking good buzz from Alexander Gard-Murray saw him answer that Nine Provinces – Four Provinces – Northern Sea Circuit and Main Island are direct translations of the names of the major islands of Japan. One bonus on volcanoes was still enough to ensure that the gap was more than a full set, with only 3 and a bit minutes to go in the competition. Verity Williams knew that the cranberry is efficacious in the treatment of urinary tract infections. The bonus set on computer languages really didn’t help. Daniel Kaliski recognized a quotation from Malthus. A couple of bonuses on deserts, and the match was as good as over. Fair play, Verity Williams knew that proximal is the opposite term to distal. There was time for them to take one bonus, and then the gong. Nuffield were worthy winners on 165, but JP expressed the hope that Queen Mary might make it back on 130, and I hope so too. Well played both, a good match.

Jeremy Paxman Watch

Both teams managed to get the sex of the singer of Lilac wine wrong. When Yolanda Lovelady suggested Stevie Wonder there was a big pause – and I could sense the internal battle going on within JP. You see the thing is that he often seems to take something of a shine to all female teams, and is often on his best behaviour with them. So he made do with the pause, and kept the comments and the old fashioned looks to himself for now.

Then, in a way, he paid a compliment to the men of Nuffield. When they spent a while arguing over whether the first music bonus was Kate Bush – it was actually ABBA – he said ‘it’s very rewarding to see some of the finest minds in the world deliberating over this.’ What, sarcasm? Surely not.

Daniel Kaliski recognized a quotation from Thomas Malthus. “Yes . . . Actually Malthus is all I was looking for “ replied JP. So bleedin’ what? That was Malthus’ christian name, so what the hell did it matter?

Interesting Fact That I Didn’t Already Know Of The Week

Nine Provinces – Four Provinces – Northern Sea Circuit and Main Island are direct translations of the names of the major islands of Japan.

University Challenge: Round One: Match 12

Clare, Cambridge v. Warwick

Another Cambridge college then tried to follow in the footsteps of last week’s winners, St. Cats. Clare College were represented by David  Tremain, Sarah Binney, Ellie Warner and skipper Olivier Grouille. Their opposition, from Warwick, were Hugh Osborn, Emily Stevenson, James Leahy and captain Ashley Page.

Claire Warner recognized that the first question was driving towards Jan De Groot – or John O’Groats, the name of which allegedly commemorates him. Two bonuses on the Wallace Collection were duly taken. As soon as David Tremain heard the title “The Deserted Village” he knew we were dealing with Oliver Goldsmith. Two bonuses on birds in poetry brought them to 40 points. The Warwick skipper knew that the Cowper glands are found beneath the prostate. Fair enough. Fungal diseases of trees brought us our old friends Ash dieback and Dutch Elm disease, but Sudden Oak Death was a new one on me as much as it was a new one on Warwick as well. No prizes to either team for not picking up the chestnut that Simon Bolivar was born in Caracas – with him being probably the original of the old poem There was a young man from Caracas. The next starter was one of those where you just had to wait and wait until it became obvious. Ashley Page’s nerve broke first and he gave away five. When the words Scientific Director of the Manhattan Project were finally spoken, Olivier Grouille correctly supplied the answer of Robert Oppenheimer. Bonuses on 11^th century kings proved too difficult for Clare, and they failed to add to their score from this visit to the table. For the first picture starter we saw the flag bearing St. Piran’s cross, and it fell to Ashley Page to tell us that it was the county flag of Cornwall. More county flags followed, and Warwick recognized one of them. This meant that at the 10 minute mark Clare led 50 – 30.

St. Louis de Ha! Ha! Is not a place that I’ve ever heard of before, but somehow I doubt that it could possibly live up to its name, claiming, as it does, to be the only place with two exclamation marks in its name. James Leahy was first in for that one. This earned his team a set of bonuses on Roman remains in North Africa, but they failed to score. The word intrusive brought Ashley Page another starter, and another five points were accrued from a set of bonuses on Bartok. I was very pleased with myself for getting Zuleika Dobson for the next starter. Didn’t she play Angie in Eastenders? Neither team had it. A set of people who all formed partnerships with Lewises brought Ashley Page another starter, which suggested that he had really found his buzzer range, and Clare were finding it difficult to edge their way back into the contest. American Geography provided one bonus. The music starter saw David Tremain buzz in too early and lose 5 points. Still, he was doing the right thing, trying to get his team going again. This gave Warwick a clear run at Rossini’s Barber of Seville, but they didn’t know it any more than I did. Now, in a quiz, if you hear the name Edward Hopper, then you hit the buzzer and say ‘Nighthawks’. That’s what Ashley Page did. The opera bonuses didn’t work out for them, but when you’re comprehensively winning the buzzer race it doesn’t matter so much, as long as you keep winning it. It was James Leahy who guessed that Henning Mankell is Ingmar Bergman’s son in law. Two bonuses on moons put them on the cusp of triple figures. Nobody knew the one about electronic circuits, neither did I. David Tremain knew about the birth of psychology, and at last Clare were moving again. They were unable to take any bonuses on the Council of Constance. This meant that on almost the 20 minute mark they still trailed by 60 to Warwick’s 95.

Sarah Binney certainly knew her Studio Ghibli films, as she took the starter on Spirited Away and a full set of bonuses on the same, which put Clare right back in the game. What price all of those missed bonuses for Warwick now? A sequence of mothers of consecutive British monarchs was completed with Mary of Teck by Emily Stevenson. This enabled Warwick to score their own full set on chemical elements. In graph theory there are 7 features in the theoretical Bridges of Konigsberg. I didn’t know that but Ashley Page did. 2 bonuses on the Wakhan Corridor took them closer to the event horizon. James Leahy kept his foot to the floor and answered correctly that the Troodos Mountains are in Cyrpus. One bonus on roman history followed, but with the gap at 75 Warwick appeared to have done the job. Sarah Binney knew that the writer of Foundation and Empire had the given name Isaac. A bonus on political figures and literature brought them up to 100 points. A list of 20^th century foreign secretaries passed both teams by. James Leahy knew the film making term auteur. A bonus on neo- terms pushed the further ahead. Emily Stevenson knew that the Willow Tea Rooms were the work of architect and designer Charles Rennie Mackintosh. Warwick just had time to take one bonus on European airports before the gong, which completed a fairly comfortable 195 – 100 win.

Well played Warwick, hard luck Clare. I fancy Warwick will have to be a little less profligate with their bonuses next time round, but hey, what do I know?

Jeremy Paxman Watch

Our Jez said nothing worthy of particular comment before Ashley Page offered ‘intrusion’ rather than intrusive. He accepted it eventually, but pulled a face which suggested allowing it to pass was akin to having a wisdom tooth pulled.

Rather ungallantly when Sarah Binney pulled a despairing face and offered a guess at an answer to the electronic circuit starter he suggested that ‘you seemed to be in pain a moment ago.”

Interesting Fact That I Didn’t Already Know Of The Week

Henning Mankell is the son in law of Ingmar Bergman.

University Challenge: Round One: Match 11

St. Catharine’s, Cambridge v. Southampton

So then, representing JP’s own alma mater we had Callum Watson, Ellie Chan, Alex Cranston and skipper Callum Bungey. Their opposition, the University of Southampton, consisted of Will Cable, Sarah Stock, Roland Sadler and captain Tricia Goggins. Now, I never wish bad luck on any team, but I have to admit that I was intrigued, going into this match, to see what JP would say to the St. Catharine’s team if they should happen to lose.

Right, controversy struck with the very first starter. The question actually was – in which CITY SQUARE was the statue called The Goddess of Democracy etc. etc. Now, the correct answer is of course Tiananamen Square. However, you listen to it on the iplayer, and you can easily be forgiven for thinking that JP said – In which CITY’S SQUARE – I’m sure that’s why Callum Watson answered Beijing and lost 5 for his team. Rather bad luck that. This gave Sarah Stock the opportunity to supply the correct answer. A gentle set of things all linked by an adjective meaning a nationality brought Southampton a full house. Skipper Callum Bungey lost St. Catharine’s a further 5 with an incorrect interruption of various definitions of the word salient. Reading couldn’t capitalize. Nobody knew Norwegian Chess grandmaster Magnus Carlson. Nobody knew about Peel’s second term in office. Finally, and I sense JP was starting to get a little frustrated at this, when he gave several East Anglian locations of large factories and asked what they processed. Callum Bungey gave us sugar beet, which was of course right. Scientific institutions brought St. Catharine’s a full house, and saw them narrow the gap to 10. A nice picture starter followed, which showed us the cover of a Terry Deary Horrible History book, with the title removed. It was Roland Sadler who correctly identified it as the Slimy Stuarts. More of the same followed in the bonuses, and Southampton were happy to take the full set. Callum Bungey knew that good old quiz chestnut that a church which does not fall under the authority of a bishop is a peculiar. Well, quite. Bonuses on gin brought another full house, which was enough to ensure that Cats (if it’s good enough for JP to call them that, then it’s good enough for me, tailed by just 5 points, 45 to 40.

Nobody knew the famous French Maths geezer Clairaut. Now, asked a classic Greek Mythology question, Tricia Goggins made the easy mistake of saying Icarus – yet the flight was completed, so it could only be his dad Daedalus, a fact not lost on Callum Bungey. Another full house on Lithuania compounded Southampton’s punishment. The Cats skipper took his 4^th starter of the competition when he recognized the definition of a Turing Machine. A couple of bonuses on statistical doo dahs followed. Starter number 5 was Callum Bungey’s as he identified about half a note of a song from Les Mis for the music starter. No bonuses on other sung through musicals followed. Be honest, the first one sounded more like a slept through musical, but I digress. Will Cable bull dozed Southampton back into the match by answering that various personages were the brothers of George IV. Quotations about too much of something brought them 2 bonuses, and cut the gap to 30 points. Nobody recognized a series of quotations about Art. Tricia Goggins further reduced her team’s arrears knowing that Jaggers in Great Expectations is a lawyer. A full set on families of carnivores meant that they trailed by just 5. Callum Bungey’s 6^th starter came when he knew that thermal and catalytic are two types of fracking. Good shout. 2 bonuses on Alexander Pope took Cats through to triple figures, and on the cusp of the 20 minute mark they led by 120 to 85. This was one of those games where it was just possible that both sides might make it through, bearing in mind how JP speeds up for the last few minutes.

For the second picture starter nobody fancied a shy at a lovely bit of Poussin, and so the bonuses rolled over. A good early buzz from Will Cable saw him identify the word cartouche, as used in Egyptian Heiroglyphs. 2 bonuses put them on 105. Tricia Goggins guessed a series of musical valves, which gave Southampton back the lead. Bonuses on places sharing their names with breeds of dog brought only one, although all three were gettable if not exactly easy. Nobody knew the next one which was a computer acronym thungummybob – do stop me if I get too technical. Callum Bungey knew about a squawk, which is  - oh, let’s be honest, I haven’t got a clue what it is. Chemistry bonuses were enough to give Cats a 10 point lead. The 8^th Callum Bungey starter came from knowing that the two children created by Charles Addams in his eponymous family were Wednesday and Pugsley. Bonuses on New Zealand writers proved elusive, and so even with just a few minutes left the game was not over, although my money was on Cats. Callum Bungey knew that Wotan and Erda in Wagner’s Ring were the parents of the Valkyries. A full house on Chinese Emperors pretty much sealed the deal for Cats, and so it was down to Southampton to see if they could get at least a full house to give them a sniff of a repechage slot. Nobody knew the Casa Rosada is the executive mansion in Argentina. I did. It’s in the lyrics of ‘Oh What A Circus’ from Evita. Tricia Goggins knew that Toulouse won the Heineken Cup more times than any other club – 4 times. Southampton needed as many of these bonuses on population as possible. 1 they managed. Nobody knew reptation. Me neither. That was that. Cats won by 165 to 135.

A good match that, quite close. Southampton had a bad patch in the middle of the match, and ultimately that left them a little short at the end. As for Cats, well played, especially to Callum Bungey for a virtuoso starter performance. Mind you, Cats could be up against it if he has an off day on the buzzer next time round.

Jeremy Paxman Watch

JP made his first venture into dudgeon when neither team knew that the repeal of the Corn Laws happened during Peel’s second term as Prime Minister – “It’s famously the greatest achievement of his administration!” he huffed.

When Sarah Stock announced that her answer of Poincare was going to be wrong, this set him up for the every popular, “You’re right! . . . It is wrong!” He’s here all, week, ladies and gents.

Interesting Fact That I DIdn’t Already Know Of The Week   

Thermal and catalytic are two types of fracking

University Challenge: Round One : Match 10

University of Reading v. Imperial, London

Welcome to tonight’s edition of the clothes show. Oops, sorry, University Challenge. Yes, no media gnashing of teeth over this show’s contenders after last week’s vestgate. Reading’s respectively dressed contenders were Macdonald Ukah, Jan Kamieniecki, Lewis Blackshaw and captain Sammie Buzzard. Imperial’s equally unspectacularly clothed crusaders were Ben Fernando, Ashwin Braude, Onur Teymur and skipper James Bezer. JP, on the other hand, was wearing an electric blue taffeta ball gown, a diamond encrusted tiara and a gimp mask. Not really – usual grey suit and mauve shirt and tie combination.

I loved the first two Adrian Mole books that I knew the answer to the first starter as soon as JP said the words “I was racked with sensuality” – and to be fair Lewis Blackshaw didn’t need too much more. He earned a set of bonuses on the historic counties of Scotland of which Reading answered 2. The second starter asked which element is 4^th heaviest of group one of the periodic table. Now, amazingly, I worked out that it would be potassium. It was a bit early for me to do a lap of honour round the living room, so I stayed seated as Ben Fernando gave the right answer for Imperial. Centenarians looked like a tricky set, but it provided one correct answer. James Bezer knew that susceptibility to hypnosis is rated on the Stanford Scale, and this gave the team a set of bonuses on Abel Tasman. I always prefer an able Tasman to a useless Tasman, me. Full house for Imperial. You sensed that it would favour Imperial when JP announced we’d be seeing a representation of a mathematical construction for the first picture starter, and you were right to do so, when Ben Fernando quickly gobbled up that it was something to do with Mandlebrot. Gesundheit. For the bonus set we had three more fractals. My mind went bye byes for a couple of minutes, but when it came back Imperial had earned 2 bonuses. Jan Kamieniecki knew that the IOC HQ is in Lausanne. Computer programming languages brought them one bonus. This was the third time in recent weeks that I’d heard a question focusing on the fact that Morrissey’s autobiography was published by Penguin Classics. Works by Tom Stoppard meant that by the 11 minute mark Imperial led by 80 – 35.

I didn’t understand the next question, but the answer was oogamy. Fair enough. Nobody else had it either. I guessed that Tanzimat referred to something which happened in the Ottoman Empire, as did Onur Teymur. Given three bonuses on volcanic eruptions Imperial managed two. For the music starter Onur Teymur identified a wee bit of Ludwig Van, and added one bonus. Jan Kamieniecki knew that Paisley shawls were named after the town west of Glasgow, and Reading managed two of the bonuses on Anglo Saxon rulers that followed. James Bezer knew the computing term defgramentation and came in with an early buzz to say so on the next starter. A full house on planetary astronomy impressed JP, and he awarded the team a relatively rare ‘well done’. Ben Fernando buzzed immediately that JP said PPP to give the answer purchasing power parity for the next starter, and it was starting to look very ominous for Reading. Boroughs of New York City brought 2 more correct answers. McDonald Ukah was the first to buzz in with the spelling of diphthong, and this brought them one bonus on people born in Bombay or Mumbai. For the second picture starter we saw Timothy Spall in the role of JMW Turner. James Bezer was the first to say so. More photos of actors playing notable artists brought one more bonus. Now at the ten minute mark Imperial were home and dry with 175, while on 70 Reading needed a huge effort to get into a repechage slot.

A good UC special starter saw Ben Fernando first to figure out that if you combine the initial letters of the capitals of Cuba and Croatia you get the symbol for hertz. They took one bonus on the Karakorum desert, but missed out on one by getting their Kublai mixed up with their Genghis. Ashwin Braude worked out that you can get from the Gulf of Guinea to the Med crossing a minimum of 3 countries. Reflexes only brought one point – and sadly none of the answers involved saying that a reflex is an only child who’s waiting in the park (ask your parents about that cultural reference). McDonald Ukah knew that the 2^nd emperor of Rome was Tiberius. A gentle set on the Book of Genesis followed – they took two but failed on that old quiz chestnut, the mighty hunter before the Lord, who of course is Nimrod.  When expressed as a hexadecimal, C is the letter of the alphabet represented by the number 12. Nope, me neither, but Ashwin Braude had it – pretty quickly too. Imperial picked up one bonus on the Bank Of England, but they really ought to have known that James Watt’s partner on the £50 note is Matthew Boulton. Their tails were well and truly up though, and none more so than Ashwin Braude. Who took another starter knowing that the landlocked country surrounded by a group of others that JP mentioned in South East Asia is Laos. They took one of three bonuses on DH Lawrence. Not a problem for them today, but we’ve seen how profligacy on the buzzers can catch up with you in later rounds. Ben Fernando knew that Mole Day is observed in commemoration of Avogadro’s Constant. Fair enough. A couple of chemistry bonuses took them over 250. That man Fernando knew that the summer triangle consists of Deneb, Altair and Vega. A 300 pointer didn’t look totally out of the question at this point. Repetitive place names took them to 275 – one full set away. Jan Kamieniecki stopped them from getting the next set by buzzing quickly to identify GB Shaw. 2 bonuses took Reading into 3 figures. James Bezer guessed that Poverty Bay was the site of James Cook’s first landing in New Zealand. That finished the game. Imperial were very comfortable winners by 285 to 110.

Jeremy Paxman Watch

JP kept his powder dry for most of the contest this week. Indeed it wasn’t until the second picture set, when Imperial suggested we were looking at a photograph of Kate Winslet playing Frida Kahlo. He did a very elaborate, slow and exaggerated double take before observing “It doesn’t look a bit like Frida Kahlo”. The double take on its own would probably have been funnier Jez.

Interesting Fact Of The Week That I Didn’t Already Know

Susceptibility to hypnosis is rated on the Stanford Scale. 

University Challenge - Round One - Heat 9

King’s College, Cambridge v. Sidney Sussex , Cambridge

Right then, before we start, let’s get what I groaned when I saw it being dubbed ‘vestgate’ out of the way. Kaamil Shah of King’s was wearing a leather vest! Shock! Horror! Indifference! I would imagine that the majority of viewers wouldn’t have cared if he’d been wearing a roman centurion’s uniform, a Darth Vader costume or a day-glo boob tube. If that’s what you felt happiest in and that’s what helped you perform to the max, Kaamil, then bloody good luck to you. Kaamil’s King’s team mates were Kevin Lin, Alessandro Mariani and captain Jack Smith. Opposing them were Sidney Sussex, in the shape of Nicholas Bennett, Elly Thompson, Dan Wilson and captain Thomas Hitchcock. So then, who would win this civil war of a Cambridge contest?

My schoolboy latin was enough to tell me that semibovemque virum must be referring to the Minotaur. When JP mentioned the word labyrinth that was enough for Nicholas Bennett. Sidney Sussex’s first set of bonuses then were on centenaries in 2015. They took two, but missed on the old quiz chestnut that it was Sir Fred Hoyle who coined the term the Big Bang. Poor Jack Smith was very close to the answer for the next starter, which gave several examples – eg team that play in Tynecastle stadium – and asked for the two words that linked them. He offered ‘Hearts’, and lost 5 points. His opposite number Thomas Hitchcock compounded the error by offering ‘heart of darkness’. Moral of the story – listen to the question being asked, and not the question you THINK that’s being asked. Nobody recognized a far from complimentary quote about the royal family from Hilary Mantel – how appropriate just two days before her Majesty became the longest reigning monarch in British history. Right , in terms of the internet, if Austria is Astatine, and Sweden is Selenium, then Portugal, as Dan Wilson knew, is platinum. Good UC special that, and a good quick buzz. This preceded a terrific full house on mythical creatures – I’d never heard of a jackalope. Jack Smith knew the term hagiography to get King’s off the mark. The last of a set of biochemistry bonuses saw a rather entertaining game of pass the question ensue, as Smith nominated Lin, who didn’t know and so gave the hospital pass to Mariani, who thankfully did. That was the only one they had. I don’t often get a full house on science, - I don’t often get even a one third of a full house on science -  so there was no way that I wasn’t going to mention that I had all of these.So to the picture starter, and three rivers marked on a map of the UK. ‘Ouse’ I shouted – ‘Owse’ said Nicholas Bennett – but we both said the same thing. The bonuses each also showed the locations of rivers with the same name. I knew the Dee would come up – and indeed it was first. This was followed by the Derwents and the Avons. Which incidentally comes from the welsh word ‘afan’ which means river. So effectively the River Avon is the river river. And the river which flows through my adopted home town of Port Talbot is actually the river Afan – or Afan Afan. This brought us up to the 10 minute mark and Sidney Sussex looked good value for their lead of 60 – 10.

The next starter about a chain of gears I was pleased to get right, as did Nicholas Bennett, looking by some way the sharpest on the buzzer in this contest so far. Archaeological sites in Africa provided another full house. The next starter repaid waiting for the easy clue – this one being that we required the decade in which Henry Bolingbroke deposed Richard II. A decent working knowledge of dates of monarchs is often useful on UC. Jack Smith couldn’t get it, but Dan Wilson did, and Sidney Sussex were then given a set of bonuses on space exploration in 1965. Yum yum, said I. The bonuses were all easy if you know and like the history of early space exploration. SS didn’t, but still managed 1, guessing that Mariner 4 went to Mars. Right, I didn’t even understand the next starter, a physics thing, but Alessandro Mariani had it – something like kilograms times metres per second. Sadly they couldn’t make anything from a set of bonuses on Watteau (Watteau Jeeves!) I do understand why Kaamil Shah threw caution to the wind with the next starter, when asked for an event of 1819 which roused the poet Shelley to indignation, but his guess of Krakatoa was out by several decades. Never mind – in UC it’s always better to be hung for a sheep than a lamb – if you have to go down then go down buzzing. I’d guess there’s no out and out historian on the SS team, since they didn’t know it was the Peterloo massacre either. I didn’t know the computing term heartbleed, but Alessandro Mariani did, and this earned his team bonuses on East Asian philosophies, of which they took one. They certainly weren’t drawing any long straws on their bonus sets. For the music starter we heard the prelude from Philip Glass’ Akhenaten, which passed all of us by. The next starter saw Thomas Hitchcock identify a question about Henri Matisse. This earned the music bonuses of three more operas set in Egypt. By the simple expedient of answering ‘Aida’ to each one I earned one myself, which was one less than Sidney Sussex. Thomas Hitchcock knew Thomas Piketty (otherwise known as Thomas Who? In LAM Towers) for the next starter. We both of us took a full set of bonuses on Tilda Swinton. Much as with the first ten minutes, the second belonged to Sidney Sussex, and at the 20 minute mark they looked pretty secure with the score at 145 – 25.

A good buzz from Kaamil Shah saw him identify Salieri, best known from one of my favourite films, Amadeus. This earned a set of bonuses on elements of the periodic table. Cue my second science full house of the night. Now, I’m sorry, but if you put a team on UC you really ought to have at least one team member who can eat this sort of set up for breakfast. King’s failed to get any of them, and for me, that was that for them. A still from Blade Runner was identified by Kaamil Shah. I’m sorry to say it, but they didn’t get any bonuses on other visions of cities of the future. Right then, Mozart’s Symphony number 31  - Paris. If you didn’t get it from that, a George Gershwin orchestral piece should have sealed the deal. Indeed it did for Elly Thomspon. A terrific full house on events since 2001 followed. Showing no mercy on poor King’s, Nicholas Bennet was the first in to recognize a description of the city of Petra. A lovely UC special set on the relationships various women bore to specific kings yielded just the one bonus to Sidney Sussex this time. Kaamil Shah won the buzzer race to answer that Interdit means forbidden or banned. Once again they got a set of science bonuses, and this time they managed one of them. Well, look, the way things had turned out a repechage slot was beyond them now anyway – sometimes it just isn’t your night. Elly Thompson knew that Sir Alex Ferguson’s (2^nd) autobiography became in 2013 the fastest selling non-fiction book ever in the UK. Bonuses on United Arab Emirates followed. They had the last one right but it was ruled to be after the gong. Didn’t matter,as the final score was a win for Sidney Sussex by 195 – 60. Good win for Sidney Sussex and they’re a team it might well be worth keeping an eye on in the next round. As for King’s – well it was one of those nights. Had their bonuses coincided more with their areas of knowledge then maybe they might have got closer to 100.

Jeremy Paxman Watch

I didn’t think he’d let the ‘Owse’ go without comment, and to be fair, he didn’t. When captain Jack Smith answered the first Science bonus that King’s managed there was a definite tone of frustration in his voice, to which JP responded, “There’s no need to be so dismissive”. Sorry – what was that Jez? Pot – kettle – black – you understand where I’m coming from.

It’s been suggested in some quarters that JP has a different attitude to Oxbridge than he does to the rest of the world. I think that this is something it would be difficult to prove, and generally think he’s pretty even handed. However, the fact is that he is a Cambridge man himself, and frankly I thought he gave both teams a rather easy ride in this show. Either that or he’d been taking a double dose of happy pills before the start. Yes, he couldn’t resist saying to King’s that they never really got going, but even then he sweetened the pill by adding ‘that’s the way it crumbles some times’.

Interesting Fact That I Didn’t Already Know Of The Week

The jackalope is a mythical creature of North American folklore which resembles a jack rabbit with antelope horns. 

University Challenge - Round One - Heat 8

Sussex v. Queen’s, Belfast

It was good to see JP trumpeting one of the show’s essential virtues at the start of the show, namely, that you get about 100 questions in about half an hour, which is a fantastic ratio especially compared with some lesser quizzes. First up this week was the team from Sussex, comprised of Oliver Raven, Anushka Davé, Dan Elbro and their skipper Seb Zarrilli. Their opposition, from Queen’s - Belfast, were Alastair Mallon, Jethro Waldron, Charlie Shimmins, and captain Jack Ruddy.

Jack Ruddy took first blood, knowing that RC Sherriff’s play “Journey’s End” is set in World War One. Three bonuses on Canada followed, of which none of us knew more than one. Seb Zarrilli opened his team’s account, knowing that the term which denotes erroneous ideas which have the appearance of sound reasoning (well, something like that) is a fallacy. One bonus on chemical elements – yes, I got one, and yes, I did a lap of honour around the sitting room – one bonus meant that the two teams were all square. Charlie Shimmins recognized two different things both denoted by the acronym OCD. Two bonuses on the maritime disaster which befell Sir Cloudsley Shovell’s fleet, and its consequences were answered correctly, but not the name of the manufacturer of the famous marine chronometer, John Harrison. 15 years ago or more that one would have been answered, but I suppose memory of Dava Sobell’s wonderful book “Longitude” are maybe fading a bit now. So to the picture starter, and one of Goldsmiths College’s most recent illustrious alumni, Steve McQueen. Three photos of other Turner Prize winners brought Queen’s no more points, although they had a narrow miss with Rachael Whiteread. Asked which planet is the fifth largest in diameter in the solar system, it was Jack Ruddy who supplied the correct answer with Earth. Two bonuses from a nice set on second lines of famous novels or novellas brought their score to 65, and they led Sussex by 50 points at the ten minute mark.

Dan Elbbro had a near miss with the next starter. Asked for the word which linked titles by , amongst others, Isaac Newton and Bertrand Russell, he gave the close English word Principles, rather than the correct latin original, Principia. Jethro Waldron wasn’t going to turn his nose up at that windfall. Two bonuses on British Overseas Territories in the Olympic Games took Queen’s further ahead, and you sensed that for Sussex we were at that stage in the competition where, if they didn’t make a conscious decision to start throwing caution to the wind, and risk losing 5 here and there for early buzzes, then they had little or no chance of coming back into it. There was a lovely UC special starter next. What number is obtained by adding the regnal numbers in both England and Scotland of the last King James and his successor, William. Well, the last James gets you 2 and 7 which is 9, and his successor gets you 3 and 2. Seb Zarillia had the correct answer of 14. This brought Sussex some comfort, and even more was provided in the shape of a full house on comfort food. Alastair Mallon recognized a quote about the highly influential Velvet Underground. Only one of a gettable set of bonuses on husbands in Shakespeare was taken, but then Queen’s still very much had the whip hand in this contest. Both Alastair Mellon and I were first in to recognize a wee soupçon of Fleetwood Mac, and earned three other artists or bands to have played at Presidential Inaugural galas or other presidential events. Both band and president were required. This set proved a little tricky, and Queen’s managed just the one – the same one that I managed as it happened. Alastair Mallon, who was really finding his buzzer range at this stage of the competition knew that Tony Benn was the longest ever serving member of the Labour Party.A full house on biology put Sussex 100 points behind, and, to all intents and purposes, out of the contest. Seb Zarrilli buzzed in early to take the old quiz chestnut about the company formed by Edwin Land – polaroid. The full house they received on stage musicals took their score to 65, but it couldn’t disguise the fact that, at the 20 minute mark they had been comprehensively beaten to the buzzer throughout much of the contest so far.

So, time for Sussex to at least show us what they were made of. It looked like a tall order to overhaul Queen’s, and a tall order to set a competitive score in the hunt for a repechage slot, but we have seen such things happen in the past. Dan Ebro began the fightback knowing a German chappy called Max Weber. They sadly couldn’t manage any of the bonuses on light. I was very pleased with myself for identifying a painting by John Singer Sargent. Nobody else did. Oliver Rave knew that in 2015 the Ivory Coast won the African Cup of Nations. This earned the picture bonuses, where Sussex were asked to identify figures who sat for Sargent. Two correct answers put them on the cusp of three figures. Seb Zarrilli maintained his team’s momentum by recognizing that the two political nicknames JP was looking for were Tories and Whigs. English cathedrals took Sussex to 110, a mere 30 points behind. Anushka Davé wiped out 10 of that deficit, recognizing a definition of ether for the next starter. One bonus on test cricket meant that the gap between the two teams was down to 15. This, I’m pleased to say, was getting to be rather exciting. A UC special asking for a three country route from the Aegean to the Baltic and starting with Turkey saw Jethro Waldron correctly answer Georgia and Russia. US direct action in foreign countries provided Queen’s with a timely full house. Alastair Mallon identified a speech by Edmund Burke earning the dubious reward of bonuses on mutagenic agents in biochemistry. No, me neither. Queen’s neither as well, for that matter. Queen’s had obviously decided to close the show, and had switched back into buzzing overdrive, as Jethro Waldron buzzed in to recognize WH Auden’s “The Sea and the Mirror” as being linked to “The Tempest”. US States and their borders brought two points to put them over the event horizon at 195. In fact that was the last event of the quiz, since the gong sounded. Queen’s won comfortably in the end with 195 to Sussex’s 125.

Rather inexplicably JP seemed to be blaming Sussex’s defeat on one or two of their interventions. No. Wrong. Queen’s won because they outbuzzed Sussex – pure and simple. No shame to Sussex, and more power to Queen’s’ collective elbow. Well played.

Jeremy Paxman Watch

Sometimes I get a little annoyed with our JP. Faced with the picture bonuses, Queen’s had no idea of the second one, and so rather than not give an answer, came up with the answer of an eminent artist who might well have won the Turner Prize, Tracey Emin. JP did his famous ‘bad smell’ expression, and then snorted “It’s nothing LIKE Tracey Emin!” To react like this is to miss the point – to hit and hope like this at least gives you a slim chance of being right. To say that you don’t know gives you no chance. Thus cowed, Queen’s felt obligated to pass on the last photo. Grrr.

Next to receive his scorn was Seb Zarilli, whose suggestion that Benjamin Franklin might have made a speech in the House of Commons in 1774 was greeted with JP’s best Lady Bracknell expression. “WHAT???? NO!”

Interesting Fact That I Didn’t Already Know Of The Week

The word Macaroni is thought to derive from a Byzantine Greek word meaning barley broth.

University Challenge: Round One - Heat 7

Christ’s Cambridge v. Kellogg, Oxford

An Oxbridge match usually gets the adrenaline flowing, and last Monday’s contest matched Christ’s of Cambridge with Kellogg of Oxford. Representing Christ’s we had Vivek Midha, Joe Kitchen, Evan Lynch, and their captain Douglas Morton. On the other side we had Jake McBride, Victoria Ball, Simon Dismore and skipper Jonathan Finlay representing Kellogg. So let’s get on with it then.

You don’t have to be a hardened UC viewer to feel your buzzer finger twitching when you hear the words miners’ safety lamp. Vivek Midha was the first in with Humphrey Davy. Invocations of the Muse was the subject of the first set of bonuses, and this proved barren for Christ’s. Douglas Morton knew that Bangladesh became independent in 1971, and this earned another set of bonuses, this time on St. Thomas Aquinas, and this was more fruitful, yielding two correct answers. For me Septimus Harding was the giveaway that JP was looking for A Trollope for the next starter. Simon Dismore opened Kellogg’s account, although he didn’t sound at all sure of his answer. Two bonuses on noble gases brought them into the competition. I really liked the picture starter, even though I didn’t get it right. It showed a diagram of a constellation, and the greater the magnitude of a star, the larger the dot representing it. None of us knew it was Gemini. None of us knew the definition given in the next starter referred to pink noise. Douglas Morton recognized the latin axiom we call Occam’s Razor, and this earned the constellation bonuses. I’ll be honest, the only one that I got was Orion as well. That took them to 45, as opposed to Kellogg’s 15.

Douglas Morton had a very good early buzz to identify the name of Barcelona’s Olympic stadium. Bonuses on Peter Morgan’s scripts about the Queen or Tony Blair brought another five points. Victoria Ball knew about Gesellschaft. Gesundheit. One bonus on political Garcias brought them to 30 points. Evan Lynch knew that oxygen and silicon make up about 70% of the Earth’s crust. Alchemical terms took their score to 80. On to the music starter, and nobody knew the Habanero from Carmen. I knew it was from Carmen, but no cigar for that. Vivek Midha knew that Super 8 is the format which was much used by amateur filmmakers. Bonuses on classical music took them to 3 figures. Maybe JPs words of encouragement worked at this point since the Kellogg skipper, Jonathan Finlay came in to answer that Curtmantle, Rufus and the Merry Monarch all had the regnal number 2. Now, bonuses on Banksy installations brought a slight controversy. Asked in which tourist attraction Banksy had installed a likeness of a Guantanamo Bay prisoner, Kellogg answered ‘Disneyland, Florida’. Now, as we all know, DisneyLAND, the original, is in Anaheim California. Orlando, Florida is home to DisneyWORLD. Since the answer was the original, JP would not allow it because they appended Florida to the answer. For what it’s worth I think the adjudication was correct – judging by the answer they meant Disneyworld, which was incorrect. Harsh, I know, but fair. The one correct answer they managed took them to 45 as opposed to Christ’s 100 on the cusp of the 20 minute mark. I’m sorry to say it, but I was finding this particular match quite slow going.

Onto the last mad gallop, then. Joe Kitchen knew that the Giant’s Casueway is made of basalt, and buzzed in impressively early. For some reason it gave me huge pleasure to hear Roger Tilling intone ‘Christ’s Kitchen’, but then that’s my problem, and I’ll just have to deal with it. French intellectuals and philosophers brought their score to 120, and I doubt that anybody seriously thought that Kellogg were going to be able to come back now. The second picture starter brought up the word Hungarian in Hungarian. Now, I don’t know Hungarian, but I do know that anything starting with the word Magyar is going to be related to Hungary, as did Douglas Morton. 2 more of the same were correctly answered as bonuses. Joe Kitchen knew the Fowler Brothers who worked on the Concise English Dictionary. A UC special set on words composed of letters in reverse alphabetical order sounded more difficult than they were and again Christ’s added two more bonuses. The two countries in the world with the definite article as part of their official two word names are The Gambia and The Bahamas. Douglas Morton supplied the former, which was all that was required for the next starter. Poor old Kellogg seemed completely demoralized at this point and just couldn’t find their buzzing range at all. Bonuses on the regnal name Theodore brought a rare full house, and that momentarily took the wind out of Christ’s sails, allowing Jonathan Finlay to identify Apatosaurus and Diplodocus as Sauropods. They took one bonus on bridges. Joe Kitchen resumed the Christ’s march on the second round, knowing that Gray wrote ‘Elegy in a Country Churchyard’. The almost inevitable two bonuses on fish took them to over 200. The gong ended the match before we had time to complete the next starter.

So Christ’s won by 205 to 60. Kellogg weren’t brilliant, and you have to say that they’re probably not one of the best team’s that Oxford could boast. But with UC, when it comes to assigning places in the series the overall quality of the teams within a collegiate Uni, or within an area, isn’t the only consideration. I’m neither saying that’s a good nor bad thing, just that it is what it is. As for Christ’s, that was a good performance, although it is difficult to judge just how good, and I doubt we’ll really know until they come up against a better team on the buzzer in the next round.

Jeremy Paxman Watch

JP for some reason best known to himself seemed to find Victoria Ball’s suggestion of the Whale as the constellation starter rather ridiculous. One sensed a sarky rejoinder was hovering on his lips. However JP has always seemed to be susceptible to an attractive lady, and so he choked back the chortle. He also laughed at Douglas Morton’s irreverent suggestion that Peter Morgan’s screenplay about Tony Blair and Bill Clinton was called Sooty II. Well, quite.

I didn’t think that Kellogg were doing that badly, but just past the 15 minute mark JP felt obliged to tell them that there was still plenty of time, which as we all know is guaranteed to make your spirits sink as it’s the closest UC has to a kiss of death. JP seemed surprised that Kellogg could bounce back from this to answer the next starter, as he murmured “impressively quick.”

The generally light hearted tone of the proceedings continued when Christ’s suggested Jaques Chirac as one of a set of French philosophers and thinkers. JP rose to the bait and replied, “I don’t think you could call him an intellectual by any stretch of the imagination. “ Yes, Jez, that was the point. I wonder if he’d have said the same if they’d said Marcel Marceau or Pepe le Pew?

You have to give it to JP. He makes you think that he’s gone soft, telling Kellogg that they had come and taken part, and that was the main thing – quite right, but then he had to go and remind us that the iron fist could come out of the velvet glove at a moment’s notice, saying “You did what you could . . . which wasn’t very much.”

Interesting Fact That I Didn’t Already Know Of The Week

Ununoctium (which I did know about) is actually the 7^th noble gas. This renders a question I asked in a quiz last Sunday incorrect. 

University Challenge 2016: Round One Heat 6

Institute of Cancer Research London v. St. George’s London

And so to a London derby. Not just a London derby, but a London University derby. Not just a London University derby, but a derby between two colleges specializing in the Sciences. The Institute of Cancer Research team consisted of Stuart Rankin, Ravindhi Nathavitharana, Josh Meyers and their skipper Sabrina Talukdar. Their opposition was provided by St. George’s who in their turn were represented by

Alex Costley-White, Charles Nicholas, Lucy Studd and their own captain Tom Burns.

As soon as the first question asked in which sport the first world championship was contested between Transylvania and Flanders I had the feeling that Transylvania meant that we were dealing with Quidditch. Tom Burns was the first one to buzz, and thus earned his team bonuses on quotations by Nobel prize winning scientists, of which they took 2. Nobody knew that Marguerite Johnson, but Tom Burns, shaking his head as he did so, guessed correctly. Their bonuses were on Jeanette Winterson, and I recognized the first lines from “Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit”. St. George’s only managed the one bonus. Charles Nicholas won the buzzer race to recognize various definitions of the word Muse. Two bonuses on Mercury Music Prize winners took their score to 55 unanswered points. Charles Nicholas took his second starter in a row, knowing that two African country whose names differ only in their initial letters are Gambia and Zambia. Terms beginning with oo brought them another 5 points, and you sensed that JP was maybe preparing his never-popular “Don’t worry, plenty of time left” speech for the Institute. You know you’re in trouble when he tells you that. The picture round showed us all the railway stops on a railway line between two UK cities. Dyce airport showed that one was Aberdeen, and Elgin showed that the other had to be Inverness. Stuart Rankin took that one much to his team’s relief, and JP popped the comment back into the box for another day. They took one of the bonuses, which were all more of the same. So at the 10 minute mark despite being second best for most of the last few minutes they had pulled back the gap to 50, as they trailed 65-15.

Nobody recognized Dylan Thomas from the next starter. However a biology starter on the word capsid fell to Sabrina Talukdar. Two bonuses on team GB in the 2014 Winter Olympics made their score look a lot more healthy. Alex Costley-White knew the work about the financial crisis called “Too Big To Fail” This brought bonuses on Holst’s Planets Suite, but the three bonuses went begging. Charles Nicholas recognized the famous quote about sitting on top of a rocket, thinking about the fact that it had been built by the lowest bidder, made by John Glenn. Adaptations of plays by Shakespeare took them to the brink of a triple figure score. For the music starter Ravindhi Nathavitharana was very quick to recognize the tones of Michael Jackson when he was just a wee nipper in the Jackson 5 with his brothers. Three bonuses featuring bands or artists whose names also contained the names of US presidents followed, and these proved to be more difficult for the team. As did the last two Communist Party MPs in the UK. Tom Burns knew that the Choral symphony is Beethoven’s 9^th. This brought triple figures and a set of bonuses on low temperatures. I didn’t understand the questions, and none of us knew the answers. Move on. Oh goody, another biochemistry question followed. Tom Burns had it. Bonuses on Mediterranean Islands only provided another 5 points. At the 20 minute mark St George’s led 120 – 45 – which probably was not a reflection of how comfortably they were winning the buzzer race, but up to this point they just weren’t putting away the bonuses.

Lucy Studd was first in on the second picture starter to identify a still from the film Fargo. Other culturally important or significant films brought them their first full house. Suddenly they had a 100 point lead. Sabrina Talukdar was first in to spell effervescent correctly for the next starter. A rather lovely UC special bonus set followed – where the team were given a list of words which would come up when the name of a city was googled – for example castle – Festival etc for Edinburgh. Two correct answers put them up to 65. This seemed to galvanise The Institute a little for Sabrina Talukdar won the buzzer race to take her second consecutive starter, knowing that Robert Graves wrote “The White Goddess”. World heritage sites in Africa brought them nowt. Nobody knew that the A in ADSL stands for asymmetric.  Alec Costley-White knew that Kazakhstan is the world’s 9^th largest country. I suspect that had the question been completed it might have said – and the world’s largest landlocked country – still, a very good shout that. 5 points on William Morris followed. Nobody knew that the Pritzker prize is in the field of architecture. Charles Nicholas worked out that the word mimic is an anagram of the roman numerals for 2102. Nursing procedures offered a potential full house, but there was no great necessity for it in terms of the match, and they managed 2. Charles Nicholas knew that Shield – United FC – Eagles can each be preceded by Sheffield. There was no time for Malay words in English, and at the gong the score was 190 – 70.

In the end, a very convincing win for St. George’s, although I’m not yet convinced they’ll be going much further in the competition. Time will tell – first round form is notoriously unreliable. Well played, and hard lines to the Institute for Cancer Research.

Jeremy Paxman Watch

Not much this week. When The Institute for Cancer Research failed to identify Jeffersion Airplane he gave them a wry look before replying ,”You’re too wholesome, I imagine, for it.”

He hates the teams getting literature questions wrong, does our Jez, but he’s also not happy when they miss out on UK politics as well. When neither team guessed that both of the last Communist party MPs lost their seats in 1950 he gave a look as if an invisible puppy had just defecated under his nose.

After giving the correct answer to a question – The Bose-Einstein Concentrate – he cheekily asked ‘did you understand that?- Well, be honest Jez, did you?

When Alec Costley-White buzzed in immediately to answer that the 9^th largest country in the world is Kazakhstan our JP seemed very impressed – asking him if he knew the other 8. “No!” he smiled. Blooming good answer anyway. Not that JP could allow him any satisfaction in his answer “What a weird thing to know” he offered by way of a Parthian shot.

With the nursing bonuses you just knew that JP would have a field day is St George’s had any wrong, and when they failed to identify a method of artificial respiration he chortled “I don’t think you’re ready to operate yet.” Predictable, Mr. P., predictable.

Interesting Fact That I Didn’t Already Know Of The Week

The skeleton bobsled event in the Winter Olympics is also called the Cresta.

University Challenge - Round One - Match 5

Nottingham v. Swansea

Right, the first team to receive the dubious honour of support from the Clark sofa this season appeared this week in the shape of Swansea. I studied for my degree at London University Goldsmith’s College, but I did my PGCE at Swansea. We’ll come to them in a minute. Their opponents, Nottingham, were represented by Michael Alexander, Ben Scrafield, Mark Dennis and their captain Alice Lilly. Swansea, then, were represented by Georgia Pigott, Dewi Goulden, Alan Owens and their captain Adam Haines. Full marks to Alan for introducing himself yn Cmyraeg – da iawn!

“Vessel” and “Robert Fitzroy begged the answer HMS Beagle, and Michael Alexander struck first to provide it. This earned a set on communication devices, where a couple of wrong zigs saw them only provide one correct answer. Both Dewi Goulden and I knew that Eureka! Is the motto of California. I’ve known that for over 30 years. How? Because on the opening sequence of the old US cop show CHiPs, about the California Hughway Patrol, there was a brief shot of their badge, which had the word on it. Funny the things which stick in your mind. Two bonuses on fictional languages were enough to put Swansea into the lead. The next starter was one of those where it really pays to wait. We were being asked for a city, and given a lot of details. However, as soon as it said “ – on the European side. – “ then that was the big clue, and Dewi Goulden was first in to answer Istanbul. Bonuses on Abraham Maslow gave nothing to any of us. A great picture starter showed three national flags – Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, and asked for the major river that passes through all three in that order, the answer being the Dneipr. More of the same followed and Nottingham missed the Mekong and the Zambesi but took the Rhine. This left us well poised approaching the 10 minute mark with both sides on 30.

I guessed that the JJ Sakurai Prize was for Theoretical Physics when Peter Higgs was named as one of the winners. OK, Alan Owens said Particle Physics, but JP said it would have done. Scientists who gave their name to constants gave me one. I answered Faraday to all of them, and eventually it paid a singular dividend. The next starter saw both teams remarkably reluctant to chance their collective arms on what seemed pretty obviously Thomas Cromwell. In the end that fell to Dewi Goulden. A good UC set on sitcoms offered points, but Swansea were a little profligate, and took not one of a gettable set. In a tight game you can’t let a visit to the table go without putting balls in the pockets. Michael Alexander recognized a proverb from the book of proverbs, to earn bonuses on alcoholic spirits. Nottingham answered 2, and this narrowed the gap to five points, underlining the importance of taking your bonuses. So to the music starter. Mark Dennis recognized the work of Mr. Kanye West, whom I reliable informed is a popular musician. He won some poll, (the only good poll is a deed poll) and three other winners of the same brought none of us any points. Michael Alexander gave a very early answer to the definition of the word rubric. The word terrier provided two correct answers. Alice Lilly knew when Australia won their first AFC cup. This was the third consecutive starter, and things were looking ominous for Swansea. Bonuses on ‘the Athens ofs’ provided one bonus, so although they were outbuzzing Swansea, they had yet to build an unassailable lead by the 20 minute mark, with the score at 95 – 55 in their favour.

‘Doonesbury for Kids’ could only be Calvin and Hobbes, as Michael Alexander was the first to point out. This took Nottingham into 3 figures, and earned bonuses on Roman place names. Again, they weren’t all easy, but they were all gettable. Nottingham managed 1. And so to the second picture starter. Asked for the figure from Greek Myth it was clearly Narcissus, but I couldn’t have told you the answer – it was Rubens. Nobody had it. Now, as soon as you are asked for a German composer and hear the words ‘Italian symphony’ slam the buzzer through the desk and do what Mark Dennis did – say Mendelssohn. The painter bonuses, more Narcissi, provided us both with one correct answer with Caravaggio. Nobody knew that of the US states beginning with M – Michigan has the highest Population. An anagram of Henry David Thoreau was first worked out by Michael Alexander – in many ways he was proving to be the real difference between the two teams. Henry David Toreau. I used to enjoy his Weird Weekends TV show. Bonuses on island groups provided no more points. Swansea really needed to find some answers, and Georgia Pigott provided it with the anatomical term the orbit. Trees with 5 letter common names gave another 5 points. Alan Owens knew the Battle of the Bulge for the next starter, and questions on Calatrava Bridges brought 10 points. They were on the cusp of triple figures – 40 points behind Nottingham. Realistically they had to go for the win – and needed the next starter to have a real chance. They got it too, as captain Adam Haines knew the roman term the Calends. Zoology questions on phylums gave 10 more points, but then the gong struck, leaving them stranded on 110 to Nottingham’s 135.

Good old Jolly Jez rubbed it in – That was a terrible point in the competition when you seemed to go to sleep there! Ah Mr. Paxman – sometimes you just cannot see a wound without wanting to rub salt in it, can you? Well played Nottingham. In all honesty I don’t think they’re the strongest team we’ve seen so far, and will need to play better in round two. But they’re in round two, and that’s the main thing.

Jeremy Paxman Watch

Remarkably forgiving today was our JP. He allowed what sounded remarkably like Avocado’s Constant for Avogadro’s Constant. Maybe this was why he eyed Dewi Goulden suspiciously when he offered ‘Cromwell’, and asked ‘Which one?’ He was on Swansea’s case a bit at this time. When he asked in the sitcom bonus set that followed, which US 90s sitcom with a one word title has as the first part of its name a form of the German for to be? Swansea answered – Friends. That’s not stupid – if you don’t know German at all then Frie looks like Frei which is definitely German. As it was, though, JP wrinkled his nose as if he’d just smelt something unpleasant. “Friends?!” he sniffed in exaggerated disbelief.”No, it’s SEINfeld.” When they offered Frasier instead of Will and Grace he gave us a repeat performance. After this bullying, captain Adam declined to even try for Scrubs, saying “I’m not going to embarrass myself”, to which JP purred “You coward!” in triumph.

About midway through the game he had a fit of the chuckles, when instead of offering The Athens of the North for an Edinburgh nickname, Nottingham offered Auld Reekie – which, let’s be fair might not have fit the derivation, but IS a nickname for Edinburgh, and thus certainly not deserving of mirth.

I felt that welcoming Swansea back when Georgia Pigott buzzed in for Orbit was rather mean too. I doubt very much that they hadn’t been trying to win the buzzer race, Jez.

Interesting Fact That I Didn’t Already Know Of The Week

Nashville has been nicknamed The Athens of the South

University Challenge - Round One - Match 4

Manchester v. York

Due to their remarkable run of success in the last few years it’s probably fair to say that Manchester have something of the air of marked men and women about them. That is to say that, like their football teams, they’re one of those outfits that you’re going to have to beat if you want to have a serious crack at the title. This year, Manchester’s team comprised of James Haughton, Osnat Katz, Jacob Roberts and their captain Graham Abbot. York have not had quite such an illustrious UC past, but another way of looking at that is that they had nothing to lose. They were represented by Barto Joly de Lotbiniere, Sam Smith (no, not the singer), Joseph McLoughlin and their captain, David Landon Cole.

Barto Joly de Lotbiniere knew that as soon as you hear the phrase ‘nephew of Charles I’ you hit the buzzer and answer Rupert. He was right too. This gave York bonuses on Germany, and they took a full house. This might have just been a flash in the pan, but it certainly made it look as if Manchester had their work cut out for them. This impression was reinforced when David Landon Cole buzzed in early to identify works by Noam Chomsky. The Presidential Medal of Freedom did not provide another full house, but the 5 points they gained took the tally to 40 unanswered points. Now, for the next starter, when asked for a phase of the moon I always answer gibbous, and it’s right more often than it’s wrong. Osnat Katz gave the same answer and reaped the reward of three bonuses on hedgerow fruits (aren’t they called Starburst now? Younger readers may need to ask their elders to explain that cultural reference.) but they failed to yield anything. For the picture starter Sam Smith won the buzzer race to identify and outline of the island of Madagascar. This earned a set of more island nations and frankly the way that they had a full set, even identifying St. Vincent and the Grenadines was very impressive. James Haughton was the first in to recognize a quotation from Leibniz, and this brought Manchester bonuses on that jolly funster, Philip Larkin. I managed 2, Manchester 1. This meant that at the 10 minute mark York were in command with 65 – 25.

The next starter asked which specific artform inspired a series of other works, and even before the first example was given I ventured the opinion that they would be paintings. “Sunday in the Park with George” confirmed it, and Girl With a Pearl Earring gave it to Osnat Katz. International Sporting Competitions provided Manchester with a good full set. David Landon Cole won the buzzer race to complete a quotation from HL Mencken. This gave them a full set on Genoa. The next starter was the first to go unanswered by either team – none of us knew the musical term tombeau. Joseph McLoughlin buzzed in too early for the next starter. To be fair I thought that the question was going for the Moon Io when it mentioned volcanically active, but after he’d answered, JP then continued to mention that the moon required is named after a merman in Greek myth. Osnat Katz went for Uranus, but it was Triton, and I’m afraid that that one will have to be looked upon as an opportunity missed. Sam Smith perpetrated York’s second consecutive incorrect interruption, suggesting that the Ruriks ruled Moscow. Close (although not THAT close geographically) but no cigar. James Haughton correctly zigged with Kiev.Two bonuses on economics reduced the gap to a starter and a bonus. For the music starter Jacob Roberts quickly recognized Tchaikovsky, but zagged with The Nutcracker, allowing Joseph McLoughlin to zag with Swan Lake. Three more excerpts from works which have a swan in them seemed a little tenuous. I had no idea about the first. When asked for a Nordic composer for the second – well, it’s a toss up between Grieg and Sibelius. I didn’t recognize it so went correctly with Sibelius. As for the last, well the dying swan was by Saint Saens. Now for the next starter, I don’t know much about Science, but it’s a fair bet that a term like lucifugous is going to have something to do with light. Graham Abbot thought so, and we were both right. Artificial sweeteners proved none too sweet for any of us, and each of those questions went begging. Barto Joly de Lotbiniere knew that Colm Toibin wrote the Testament of Mary – good shout, that. This took York into treble figures. They took a bit of time over it, but managed two out of three bonuses on German battleships of World War II. Sam Smith won the buzzer race to identify EBV as the Epstein-Barr Virus. Two bonuses took them to 125, and a 50 point lead at the 20 minute mark. Manchester were staring down the barrel of a gun at this point, and the unthinkable possibility of a first round exit for Manchester was becoming more thinkable with every minute.

Barto Joly de Lotbiniere identified a photograph of Anthony Gormley. Three other people or groups to have appeared as themselves in The Archers followed, but they missed out on Britt Ekland. (sarky comment overload). James Haughton took a flyer with the next starter, which required a Spanish language other than Castilian, and was right with Galician. With only about 5 minutes to go Manchester needed full sets, but only had one of a set on World Heritage Sites. Something about octahedral geometry followed – I didn’t understand it, but Sam Smith did and correctly answered 6. A set of bonuses on Theodore Roosevelt showed that York have the invaluable knack of discussing wrong options, but picking right answers. Sam Smith added to Manchester’s difficulties by buzzing early to identify two Seljuk Sultans. Another full set on Indonesia took them to their double century. York’s skipper knew the term ornithopter and York took 2 bonuses on crowns. Sam Smith, who was really finishing with a flourish, knew that the 2014 Tour de France began stage 3 in Cambridge. Human anatomy bonuses took York’s score to 245. Nobody knew that it was Tennyson who wrote “To strive, to seek, to find, but not to yield”. That man Sam Smith knew that Samarkand is in Uzbekistan, and bonuses on Benjamin Britten brought the score to 265. That was where the gong sounded, leaving York on 265, and Manchester on 90.

JP doesn’t do consolation very well, but his words “that’s not a great score Manchester” were true. But then, you can only play as well as the opposition allows you to play, and especially for the last 10 minutes York were on fire. In fact I would stick my neck out and say that they are the most impressive team we’ve seen so far. How far can they go? Who knows? But this at least was a very good performance.  

Jeremy Paxman Watch

He started early, with a rather dismissive “No, she was Australian” when York suggested that Germaine Greer might have been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Now, we’ve seen in the past how sniffy JP can be when teams get an English lit question wrong. For the Philip Larkin bonuses he stressed that he wanted the titles and not the first lines, and when Jacob Roberts couldn’t answer “This be the verse” he observed, approvingly, “Well, at least let’s be grateful you didn’t give us the first line”

I have never seen JP’s flabber being quite so gasted as with James Haughton’s answer of Galician. He looked at the card in disbelief, paused, looked up with a wry smile and confirmed it was correct. “Of course it’s correct, but how could you know that without knowing which cities I was going to mention?” It’s called guessing, Jez. Well, either that or ESP.

Interesting Fact That I Didn’t Already Know Of The Week

The America’s Cup was actually originally called the Hundred Sovereign cup